


London Bridge is Falling Down

by anarchycox



Series: This Is My Family [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 12 year old Bucky, Angst, F/M, First Love, Fluff, Human AU, Last Love, not regretting choices, pre and post serum steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9467753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Steve and Peggy fell in love. So very in love. But love and life don't necessarily go hand in hand and they walk away from each other.12 years later there is a horrible accident and they are brought back together.Neither will say they are both still in love. But maybe with a little courage there is a second chance to make it work.





	1. Chapter 1

"I'm going to crush you." Peggy laughed and rolled over.

"How is that a problem?" Steve asked. They lay side by side in the flat, heat barely on as neither had any money. Steve's year abroad was costing more than he had expected and the student loans only went so far. But the chance to do his third year of university in London was too good to resist. And he had met Peggy. Peggy who was gorgeous and clever and had a flat that only had 2 other people instead of 6. "Seriously squish away." He tried to pull her back, but she wasn't a cuddler. But she did reach out and lace her fingers with his.

"You are welcome to stay you know." she offered. "Your dorm is vile, this is merely deplorable."

"What about your roommates?" Steve ran his thumb over her skin. He had called her an English Rose when he met her, she had dumped her drink on his shoes. 

"They like you, you haven't stolen anything."

"Do you have anything worth stealing?" Steve asked. A sheet was hanging to act as a door.

"A couple things. Our virtue, for one." Peggy smiled as Steve couldn't stop the giggles. "My knives and guns, are worth quite a bit actually." Peggy added. Steve was quiet and she sighed a little, he really didn't like talking about that. "It's for work."

"For a job, you don't have yet, and if you got, you couldn't really talk about."

"It's just a job for an international security firm. I've shown you the webpage."

"Yeah." Steve kissed her hand. "And it is kind of vague."

"I'm still a recruit, don't even know if I'll get the job, and if i don't I'll try for New Scotland Yard. But SHIELD is where I want to be. What I would be brilliant at."

"I know I've seen you at the gym." Steve loved when he wasn't in class trailing after Peggy as she went to the gym and worked out. He had dozens of sketches of her in the ring, facing off against men twice her size. Fearless. He was in awe of her, and a bit terrified for her. 

"I still say I could come up with a routine that would work for you, or at least one of the guys could. Dugan perhaps."

Steve held up their hands, her wrist was thicker than his. He was taller than her but numerous childhood illnesses had left him scrawny. He refused to use the word fragile. "I'm fine. Haven't had an asthma attacked in 2 months. I think sex cured me."

"I am rather fabulous." Peggy kissed his nose. "I'll make you a cuppa."

"That'd be great." God Steve hated tea. He sat up in bed and grabbed his sketch book. He needed to work on hands, they were always rough. He closed his eyes and pictured his mom's cracked fingers and chewed down nails. He didn't notice Peggy return and the tea grew cold as he drew and she practiced dismantling a gun.

****************************

"Have I mentioned how gorgeous you are?" Steve swung Peggy out and back to him.

"Say it a couple more times." she settled in his arms. "I take the dress back tomorrow."

"You should wear red more."

"Too noticeable, I'm learning how to blend."

"Put you in the worst soccer mom Banana Republic khakis and you would still stand out." 

"Flatterer." the song ended and another began.

A man came up and leered at Peggy. "How about I show you how it's really done."

"He is managing just fine." Peggy dismissed him, eyes only for Steve.

"Come on pretty doll, what's the harm in one dance?"

"The lady said no." Steve turned and faced down the man. The guy laughed and swung at Steve who managed to duck out of the way. Peggy stepped in and in four moves had the guy crying on the ground. She stepped over him and went back to dancing with Steve.

"Sorry darling."

"What for, that was all sorts of hot." Steve said easily.

Peggy blushed. Steve was just a delight. They danced until they couldn't feel their feet.

******************************

Steve had been buried in a huge project for two weeks and finally managed to come up for air. He walked into Peggy's flat, surprised at how quiet it was. Usually there was music or noise from roommates. "Peggy? Sorry, I finally got your messages. Project is done, can finally focus on you."

"Kitchen." 

Steve walked in and there she was sitting at the table. He sat across from her and smiled. "Let me buy you the finest curry we can find for less than 10 pounds." she wasn't moving. "Peggy?" she handed him a letter. He scanned the parts she hadn't blacked out. He grinned. "Forget that, the finest curry 20 pounds can buy, even a glass of wine! You made it past the training, they want to hire you. Peggy this is fantastic, it is your dream." he watched her wipe away a tear. "Peggy, why aren't you dancing?"

Peggy reached into her sleeve and pulled out the pregnancy test out and handed it to Steve.

"I'm guessing this isn't a woo it's negative moment." Steve said.

"No, a fourth plus sign would suggest pregnancy."

Steve moved his chair around the table and closer to her. "This...this is bad news for you right?"

"This job, the one I've been invited to requires a lot of travel and being gone for months at a time, and a great deal of risk." Peggy looked at him. "I cannot do this job with a baby."

Steve looked at her carefully. "Were you going to do this job with me?" Peggy was quiet. He nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too." Peggy said swiftly. "But this? This is everything I've been working towards since I was 16 and a very scary man saved me from a mugging and said he was interested in my moxy that I'd be an asset to the company he worked for." she kissed him. "You go back to New York in four more months."

"I could stay."

"Steve, what would you stay for? I'd be here one week in five." 

"Yeah." Steve was quiet for a moment, thankful he hadn't yet called his mom to ask for his grandmother's ring. "Been one hell of a romance."

"You are a lovely man, Steve Rogers. And I don't want you to think for one second that I don't adore you."

Steve opened his mouth, ready to offer similar words. "I want the baby."

"I'm sorry?" Peggy stared at him in shock.

Steve shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing, never mind, it's crazy and too much. I'll go to the doctor with you."

"Why do you want the baby Steve? You're still in school, you've talked about grad school. You have no money."

"Because I think the world should have as much Peggy Carter in it as there can be." Steve started talking off his cuff. "I wouldn't ask anything of you. I get it, this would be all on me. No calls, no connection, whatever you want, I can arrange. We'd go back to New York and I'd do it, raise him or her as best I could, raise them to be as strong and clever as you."

"A little bit of Steve Rogers heart in there would be a good thing." Peggy looked at the letter. "I'm supposed to start in three months. That would put me at the start of the last trimester."

Steve gripped her hand. "Then we do what you need. Your choice Peggy."

"My choice right now is for us to go to bed and forget everything else." Peggy kissed him desperately. 

Two days later she was meeting with the rather terrifying Victoria Hand and received a dispensation that started her training six weeks after her due date.

******************************************

"Resisting torture training worse, but not by much." Peggy said. She punched the nurse who told her to breathe.

Steve helped the woman up. "I kind of warned you."

"Sir, help calm your wife down."

"Not my wife, and she doesn't need calming down. She seems pretty calm, it's never a good idea to patronize a woman who regularly stabs people with forks." Steve went back beside Peggy. "Do you want drugs."

"No good training. My name is Peggy Carter, id number yet to be determined, this is an illegal capture and I will not respond to any form of interrogation."

"Want to tell me again how this is a basic security job?" Steve asked. He let her grip his hand and it was tight but even in her pain, she was being careful of Steve's bones, knowing his fingers were his work.

"Security comes in many forms." she said as the contraction eased. Peggy leaned back onto the pillows. "Ice chips?"

He rubbed them against her lips. "Better?"

"Hmmm. He's a fighter." Peggy rubbed her swollen stomach. 

"Gee wonder where he gets that from." Steve joked.

Peggy looked at him. "He gets that from you, Steve. I fight with my fists, you fight with everything." 

Another contraction hit before he could respond. It was 28 hours and by the end they were arguing about who the baby got his stubborn from. The doctor could be heard muttering  _seems like a double dose_.

Peggy pushed as Steve got up behind her back to support her. And it was all so gross and sticky and so was the baby.

He was perfect.

The nurse gave him to Peggy who held him close. He was so tiny. She felt love, she did but she looked at Steve who looked like he had been given the universe. She carefully handed the baby to Steve, "Help the nurse with him while I deal with the afterbirth stuff."

Steve held the baby and Peggy watched them. "Right, let's get all of this over with." she said to the doctor.

They were all brought to the recovery room and Steve only gave up the baby for Peggy to feed him. Peggy had agreed to breastfeed for a few weeks and to pump a few more days of food to help with immunity; she knew Steve was terrified the boy would inherit his system and wanted to give him every chance.

"James." 

"What's that Peggy?"

"He seems like a James to me."

Steve looked down at his son. "James. Hello James." He hummed a little. "James Buchanan Rogers."

"Buchanan?"

"My mother's maiden name. Irish and Scottish tradition to give a mother's maiden name as a middle one." Steve touched the fine down on the baby's head. "I'll do my best by you."

"Your best is going to be incredible."

"I'm a 21 year old broke art student in a foreign country." Steve laughed a little. "I don't even know how I'm getting him back to New York."

"We'll figure it out." Peggy promised. James began to wail. "I suppose I should feed him."

Steve handed him over, arms already missing him.

********************************************

It was both difficult and easy to pack up a baby for the flight. It helped that it wasn't commercial. Instead of a signing bonus, Peggy asked for assistance moving them back to the states and SHIELD offered a private plane to help the young baby avoid the germs of a commercial flight. Steve's mother already had Steve's old room prepared for them. He really just had to bring clothes and the car seat.

He and Peggy had been pulling themselves apart from each other and he and been sleeping in the room with James. It hurt to let go, but he just wanted her to be happy. And he had James.

"Steve, can you go for a walk around the block?" Peggy asked. "Your ride won't be here for another twenty minutes."

"Sure, Peggy." Steve let himself out.

Peggy sat on the ground and dressed James and put him in his car seat. He flailed his arms and cooed. "I'm sorry. I do love you, so much, more than I thought I would. But no eleventh hour changes, no making us a perfect little family. I think you beautiful, but this opportunity, it is everything I've ever wanted. And I can't give it up. I won't give it up. So I'll give you up to the best hands I've ever known." she smoothed a blanket over top him. "Your father, he's a good man, a better person than I'll ever be. And he'll perform magic and miracles to make your world incredible James. Never let him call you Jimmy, always punch through and not at, when you fall in love treat them as your father has treated me, try not to hate me too much, if you can." Peggy wiped away a tear. "Be as unique as your father and you'll do fine." she gave him his favourite rattle. She kissed his head. "James." she whispered. She could hear Steve's footsteps and stood up and made her face as calm as possible.

"The ride's here." Steve went over and hugged Peggy tight. "Thank you for everything." he kissed her cheek. "You have made my life better, Margaret. You are always going to be in my heart."

"You Steve Rogers, I'm going to save the world for you."

"A guy can't compete with that." Steve picked up the carrier.

They looked at each other and then Steve left without another word.

***********************************************

"James, welcome to America. Your grandmother is going to flip over you." Steve smiled at the chaos, it felt so different than London. "But you know, James feels a little too grown up. What do you think of Jimmy?" It was the first time the baby kicked up a huge fuss since they started the trip. "Huh, guess not." Steve thought about it. "Bucky? I feel like you could be a Bucky." the baby gurgled. Steve hailed a cab and gave his mother's address in Brooklyn.

"Okay then, welcome home Bucky." Steve said staring out the window. "Welcome home."

 

Victoria Hand showed Peggy to the quarters she would have while in advanced training. "I have researched which of our on staff might be of the most used to you in this transition." Her voice was stern, but there was a hint of kindness.

"Thank you ma'am, but I assure you, I have made the choices I want and I'll be fine. I look forward to learning everything I can."

Victoria nodded. "I'll leave you to unpack then. Welcome to SHIELD Ms Carter. Welcome to your new home."

"Thank you." Peggy smiled and put her suitcase on the small bed.

 

Steve sat on his bed, his mom fussing over Bucky. He took out the small photo from his wallet and traced a finger over Peggy's mouth before putting it in his desk drawer.

 

Peggy reached into the bottom of her bag into a small hole in the lining and pulled out a photo of Steve and James. She committed it to memory before burning it and flushing the ashes.


	2. Chapter 2

**12 years later**

"I vote we just knock on the door." Peggy said. She was looking through the night vision goggles. "Two walking the perimeter. Gunman on the roof." It was an old house, in an affluent tourist neighbourhood in Spain.

Victoria sat beside her. "Copy that." she made her notes. "And you've been hanging out with Fury too long if you are suggesting knocking on the door."

"Oh I don't know, I somehow doubt that. I am pretty sure that someone else has logged more Fury hours." Peggy kept looking through the googles, scanning the windows for any sign of the person they were trying to rescue.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning the man called you Tory the other day and lived."

"He's my boss." Victoria's voice was stiff and as British as could be.

"Do you call him sir in bed?"

"That's classified." 

"That means yes." Peggy grinned ready to tease some more, day 4 of a stakeout made anyone punchy, but froze. "I see her."

Victoria Hand pulled over a walkie talkie. "Sighting we have a sighting. On my count -"

"Wait." Peggy said quickly. "I'm going to knock on the door."

"Agent Carter. I am your superior and I am telling you -"

"There's someone in that room with our teenager. We go in guns blazing, she's dead."

"And how do you propose getting in there?"

"Even terrorist assholes want to help a damsel in distress." Peggy slapped herself hard and tore her blouse. "After all, it's the Christian thing to do."

"You have 5 minutes."

"I need 10." Peggy argued.

"7."

Peggy nodded and left position. She circled around and when she got a few houses away, she screamed as loud as she could. She stumbled and fell down, crying begging, making sure to get as mussed as she could in the process. One of the men yelled in Spanish and hurried over. "Miss?"

"Oh god, oh god, oh god." Peggy cried. "He just grabbed me. I was taking a night walk, wanting to get photos of the villas, I thought it was safe here." she managed to pull a few tears out. The man reacted exactly as she thought he would. He helped her up and she leaned on him heavily. Within a couple minutes she was in the house, a mud room off the kitchen and a maid brought a first aid kit. She began to clean the scrape Peggy managed to put on her knee and Peggy kept thanking them both in halting Spanish. She gave a teary smile and called the man her hero. She realized he was barely 20. She wondered when that had begun to look so young to her. 

She began to calm herself and asked haltingly if there was a loo she could use. The maid looked to the man who nodded and spoke rapidly about keeping it quiet but all the bosses were above stairs so the powder room would be fine. The maid lead Peggy along and the clock in Peggy's head was screaming. She noticed the maid's hands trembling.

"Miss, get in there and lock the door. If I'm not the one to come get you just shout at whoever finds you Shield Protocol Asylum. Can you do that?"

"You are here for the girl?" the maid whispered. She crossed herself. "She fights, they hit her and still she fights."

"She doesn't have to fight any longer. Go hide." Peggy pushed her into the room and then forgot her.

Peggy pulled out her gun and went silently up the stairs. She went around a corner and quickly pulled back before the man saw her. She threw a disc down the hall and heard the release of electricity that knocked him out. Peggy ran down the hall and hoping she guess right, kicked in a door. There was the girl, tied up in a chair and only one guard. Peggy didn't think, but just put a bullet in his skull. She dragged the chair behind the broken door. "Hello sweetie. Your parents have been missing you a great deal." Peggy whispered. She undid the cloth in the girl's mouth.

"Daddy?" the girl asked.

"He's in London waiting for you Wanda, he was ready to raid the place himself, but trusted us to bring you home."

"You're with Shield, the security firm he uses."

"We are." Peggy heard guns and Victoria leading the raid. "You're safe now, just stay behind me while the cavalry comes riding in."

"Thank you."

Peggy gave the girl a quick hug, even as she held her gun at the ready. "It's my job."

*********************************

Peggy smiled at the reunion of father and daughter. It was really quite touching. The man thanked her and Victoria for taking a job that in theory should have been for agents below their positions, but he was an important client and exceptions are always made.

The girl hugged Peggy. "Thank you for saving me. Your kids must be so lucky to have a mom as brave and kind as you." Peggy had held the girl close during the whole flight to London.

"I don't have any children, but thank you dear girl." Peggy nodded to everyone and went down to the range. She changed into sweats and put on some X-Ray Spex. Oh Bondage Up Yours, started screaming through the speakers as she went through her paces.

She took her protective gear off and turned. Nick Fury was standing there.

"What have I told you about the music?" he tried to yell over the speakers.

Peggy turned it down. "That I have exquisite taste?"

"This ain't music, it's just screaming." Nick muttered, relieved at the reasonable volume. 

"Sir, is there a problem?"

"You defied your orders. Again."

"Senior Executive Agent Hand, agreed with my assessment of the situation and allowed me the leeway." 

"She always allows you the leeway." Nick grumbled.

"Because I'm always right." Peggy countered. 

"I know." Nick smiled. "That is what I want to talk about. Meet me in my office in 20."

"Yes sir."

"And turn off that damn racket."

"You listen to Disney soundtracks, now that is racket."

"I have 10 year old twins in my life who eat that shit up, have to keep up with them." Nick answered back swiftly. "Clint loves that Tangled movie."

"Of course sir." Peggy figured those stories he told of the twins were always made up.

30 minutes later Peggy was staring at Fury in shock. "But I love field work."

"And you are the best at it. But the fact of the matter is, we have a hole or two to fill in and we want to move you into operations and analysis. We want you coordinating any boots we put on the ground."

"You want me to be Victoria."

Nick nodded. "Exactly."

"And what is Victoria going to be doing?" 

"My job." Nick smiled. 

"Sir?" 

"I wanna golf, Carter. I want to hang out with my family in Connecticut and golf and go to shitty movies and not worry about security meetings and budgets and all that crap."

"But this is your organization." she protested. Peggy couldn't fathom walking away from it all. "You aren't even that old."

"Not even 60 yet." Nick agreed. "But London was only supposed to be 2 years and somehow became 5. Coulson runs New York like a fine oiled machine and Victoria is ready here, hell she's been ready for the last 18 months. Honestly, we've been waiting on you getting ready for the next step, but seems like you are going to need a nudge."

Peggy blinked. "Can I think on it sir?"

"Of course. Take today, hell take tomorrow too. Go have a drink and think it through." 

Peggy walked slowly out of his office, in complete shock. She overheard the radio talking about some disaster in America, but there was always a disaster in America and she dismissed it. She went to the grocery store and a couple other stops before going home. She had a long shower and ignored her phone, the ringing was her generic ring tone, not her work one. She hummed and moved around the flat and cooked a simple dinner. She put on the news and found out that there had been a train derailment in New York, killing a great many people. She frowned, it was such a shame.

She read the papers Nick had given her about the new job, and she had to admit it sounded exciting, and a logical progression of her career.

Her phone rang again. "Hello, Peggy Carter speaking."

"Hello Ms Carter, this is St Francis hospital in New York calling."

Peggy's eyes flickered to the muted telly. "Yes?"

"Are you related to James Buchanan Rogers?"

Her fingers dug into her sofa. "I am. I am his biological mother. Why are you calling me and not Steve?"

"Mister Rogers was in the accident along with James. He is currently in a coma and we are unsure if he will awaken. You are listed as the only other living relative of James Rogers."

Peggy closed her eyes. "He's alive?"

"Yes ma'am. But we would suggest that you come to New York quickly."

"I'm in London." 

She could hear the woman swallow. "Ma'am. I'm not supposed to give out a lot of information on the phone, other than to confirm that you are his relative, but...you want to get here on the soonest flight possible. It's...it isn't good."

Peggy took down the hospital address and a number she could call for updates as she traveled.

She refused to let her hand shake as she hung up and dialed the office.

"Shit, Carter, I told you to take another day to decide." Nick said as a greeting.

"Director Fury, I need to be in New York as quickly as possible, preferably arriving several hours ago."

Nick's voice went dead serious. "Agent Carter, what do you need?"

"A plane, access to medical files, and I think some prayers."

"Be at London City Airport in 40 minutes." Nick hung up.

Peggy didn't even pack beyond an over sized purse. The Shield plane was ready and waiting for her. An hour into the flight and she was handed a tablet. She read carefully the reports on Steve and James.

Steve was in a medical coma, his body temperature dropped to allow his brain and other organs a chance to heal. It was still an experimental option, almost freezing a person but it seemed like it was his best hope. 

She tapped the screen and bit her lip not to react to the picture of James. He was so grown up. And so bruised. Cuts, bruises, broken bones and an arm amputation just below the shoulder. There were still concerns about internal bleeding.

Peggy automatically memorized both files before putting the tablet down. She had another five hours before she would land, she needed to sleep.

She managed only through sheer force of work experience.

When she woke and saw the tear stains on the pillow, she wasn't surprised.

"We land in 30 minutes Agent Carter and a car will be waiting to take you directly to the hospital." the woman explained.

"Thank you." Peggy went to the bathroom to prepare herself for what came next.

She treated it like a mission, she had to, she didn't know any other way to handle a crisis.

She wondered if James still had her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

He ached. 

Ache didn't even cover it. He hurt. He hurt everywhere, in places that didn't even exist anymore. And he was pretty sure that he was still on really good drugs. But it still hurt. 

And he felt really alone. Nurses and doctors came in and out and took him here and there and talked to him in this stupid cheerful voice and whispered to each other just out of hearing.

He was 12, he could handle it. But they wouldn't tell him shit.

He knew his dad was alive, but he didn't know where he was or how he was doing. They told him about his injuries but used stupid kid words to explain it. If Grammy had still been alive, she'd have them all behaving and treating him like a person.

He need to pee.

He sat himself and was determined to not call for help, he really hated peeing in that jug. He managed to sit up but wasn't sure how he was going to get himself and the i.v. stand past the two other empty beds and into the bathroom. Shit, maybe he was going to have to call for help.

"Mr. Rogers, may I be of assistance?"

Bucky looked up. British voice was new. She wasn't in scrubs. "I'm fine."

"You don't look it."

"Yeah well they also thought I was going to die, so you know," he shrugged. 

"I'm aware. I was here the three days you were slipping in and out consciousness and had to have an additional surgery for internal bleeding."

"Well at least you didn't call it an inside boo-boo."

"Oh dear," she smiled. "I don't know that I would call a lacerated spleen a booboo."

Bucky sighed a little. "Thank you, lady," he thought about it. "I've been awake for 10 days and don't remember seeing you."

"I've had things to arrange. But I've checked on you."

The need to pee was getting vital. "Ummm..."

She moved into the room. "Let me help you. Don't worry I won't drop you," she smiled like she had said something hilarious. He figured she was some sort of social worker or something. She stepped better into the light and Bucky debating peeing himself instead of dealing with her. But that sounded gross. He let her help him to the bathroom and back to the bed. He wished he wasn't exhausted from the short trip.

"You actually going to answer my questions about my dad?"

"He's in a medically induced coma. He cracked his skull and his brain had swelling. There is also broken ribs and a broken tibia. There was also spinal compression but they don't know the extent of that damage until he wakes up." 

"How long are they going to keep him in the coma?"

"Another day or two," she explained. "We're moving him to a private facility and after that his body temperature will be slowly raised and then we shall see." 

Bucky glared at her. "You aren't moving him without me."

"My apologies for my wording," she said softly. "We are of course moving you as well. You'll be able to be in a room right across from him, and we'll make sure you can actually see him."

Bucky didn't want to be grateful. "Whatever." He lay back on the bed. "I'm gonna watch some t.v."

"Of course, I'll see you later."

Bucky didn't say goodbye.

****************************************

Bucky stared at the building. "This isn't a hospital."

"No," she agreed beside him. "But they have medical facilities."

"Where's Dad?"

"He was moved this morning, and I am sorry, but you can't see him quite yet while they make sure the move didn't cause any problems."

"Lady, you said I could see him." 

"And you can, likely tomorrow," she promised. "Let me wheel you in."

Bucky looked around. "This is just a regular boring office building, with guys in matching suits."

"Not quite, it seems there are three popular brands, you can tell by the cut of the lapel, the buttons used."

"You can tell that at just a glance," he was suspicious.

"My job requires me to notice details." They got into the elevator and went up 10 floors. And here it did look more hospital like. She checked him in at a desk and then wheeled him to a room. "Steve is right across from you as I said," she pointed to a door.

Bucky nodded and looked at the room he was given. It was plain, but a hell of a lot nicer than the other hospital. Private and a good size, big t.v. and a gaming system. "How am I supposed to play one handed?" 

"It was here before. Age - people who heal here, like video games, gives the nurses some peace." A nurse knocked on the door then and the woman smiled. "I'll leave you to settle."

"Lady, you done with me now that I'm here?" Bucky asked.

"No, I'll be seeing you regularly. And please you can call me Peggy, or even Carter if you prefer."

"Whatever lady." Bucky looked at the nurse. "I'm 12 and not an idiot."

"I'm 35 and not your bitch," she answered.

"Okay, maybe this won't suck so much." Bucky agreed.

****************************************

The nurse had done a check on him at 1am and he figured he had a window of about 90 minutes. He got out of the bed and winced. He had been taken off the i.v. drugs with the move and the pills had him feeling all the aches even more. The missing arm itched like crazy and he swore he could still feel his fingers. He never looked when they changed the dressings.

But all he cared about was seeing his dad.

He opened his door and was surprised to see his dad's open as well. This made it super easy. He heard voices though and stayed in the shadow of his door.

"Agent Carter, you need sleep," a man's voice said.

"I'm fine Director Coulson," the lady countered. Bucky wondered why she was being called agent.

"It's Phil please," he said.

"Peggy, then."

"He is stabilized from the move, and they'll start waking him up tomorrow, but it could be days before he actually wakes up. You really should rest. There are rooms two floors up."

"You yell less than Fury."

"We're still getting to know each other."

"Thank you, Phil, for allowing me to move them here. It was a good hospital, but I trust the small medical team of SHIELD more," she said. "I...feel safer having them here."

"We are a family company,"

She snorted a little. "I always assumed Nick made up the twins he always talked about."

"No those are my kids, and trust me they are so much worse than anything he has said." It was quiet and then, "You should tell him."

"When the time is right," she answered. "Do you know a reliable company for youth prosthetics?"

"Tony Stark will personally lead his team in designing an arm for Mr. Rogers."

"Bucky," she said. "Thank Christ it isn't Jimmy."

"Agent Carter, go find a bed. And that is an order."

"Yes, Director."

Bucky went back to his bed. There had been a lot to process in that conversation.

****************************************

Bucky stared at his dad, at the ventilator, at the monitors, at the cast on his leg. "Dad," he whispered. He gripped his hand tight. "Dad."

"He's so big," she said beside him. "His medical file talked about experimental treatments?"

"For his asthma and a bunch of other stuff," Bucky said. "When I was six. It was a mix of steroids and some other test drugs. It was a failure on everyone except him."

"Those experiments are why he's alive," she said. "If he was like before, he'd be dead."

"He curled himself around me, tried to save me, but we flew around too much." Bucky looked at her. "He's going to wake up right?"

"He's stubborn, if he can, he will."

"Lady, you don't know him." Bucky glared at her.

"I know a little, and really you can call me Peggy. Even Carter would be better than lady," she smiled at him.

He had her mouth. He hated that.

"Good, because I am sure as fuck never calling you mom," Bucky glared at her. "You haven't cared about us in 12 years, don't start now."

"Bucky," she said, the smile gone.

"Get out, Carter. We don't need you." Bucky turned to his dad and ignored her.

He waited until she left before he started to cry. "Dad, I need you. Please wake up."

But nothing changed.


	4. Chapter 4

Peggy stood outside Bucky's door, but didn't go in. He made it clear that he didn't want to see her, and she certainly couldn't blame him. She didn't know what Steve would have told him about her, but she knew Steve would have never been unkind, he just wasn't capable of it. But no matter what he said, she was the person who waved off her child and didn't speak to him again until he almost died and didn't even say who she was. It was too much on top of everything. She received daily updates on his progress. Bucky was healing and very angry and very scared. He was also sneaking into Steve's room whenever he was sure that Peggy wasn't in there. She made sure to stick to late hours, leaving Bucky the day.

Currently though she was in Coulson's office. The Director was both very different and very similar to Fury. Calmer, but you could feel the control in the man. In different circumstances she'd use him to relieve a little tension. But one glance you could tell that he was a man who took his wedding band seriously.

"Now you left London in a hurry, and there is some paperwork to fill out," Phil explained.

"Shouldn't HR be dealing with this, sir?" Peggy asked.

Phil smiled a little. "Both Victoria Hand and Nick asked me to help you out personally." He handed her a few files. "Right now, I am giving you a month's leave at full pay, and then we can reassess from there. I understand you were also offered a promotion?"

"Yes," Peggy agreed. "And I admit I haven't had time to think about it."

"That's fine. Both Hand and Fury have agreed to stay in London in their current roles for another month. But at the end of that, you will have needed to make a decision on the promotion. Your leave could continue after that, but they need to know if they should move to their next candidate. Nick really wants to golf."

"Honestly the thought of him on a course is a little terrifying," Peggy admitted. "Plaid pants and the leather jacket?"

Phil laughed a little before getting serious again. "I've read the reports. Bucky is well on the road to recovery..." He trailed off a little bit.

"But Steve hasn't shown signs of waking up," Peggy finished for him.

"No," Phil agreed. "Scans show there is brain activity, but every day he doesn't wake up the concerns grow."

"The doctors have told us to keep talking to him, they hope either Bucky or I can help."

Phil nodded. "I have a couple people I trust with the most important things in the world to me. They are going to take a few shifts reading to him. It can't hurt."

"You only know my file, and you don't know them at all, why are you doing this?" Peggy asked.

Phil had a frame on his desk and he turned it around. He hit the button on the side to flip the digital pictures, until he stopped. "This is Audrey, my first wife. She was waiting at a red light, having run out for diapers and emergency chocolate. She was broadsided. I was in Istanbul and she died alone, scared, and in pain. Our twins were 16 months old and luckily our friends had been babysitting," Phil put the frame back. "I can understand a bit what you are going through right now."

"It isn't the same sir, I let them go, they aren't mine."

"Even so, if I can ease some of the pain of the circumstances, I will." There was a knock on the door. "I have another meeting now. You look like you could use a nap."

"You know, you keep implying I look rather dreadful with these you need to sleep comments." Peggy raised a brow at him. "Besides which, I am too keyed up to sleep right now."

"There is a woman down in the sparring room. May. I think she'll be able to help you right now," Phil suggested.

Peggy sighed in relief. She really wanted to punch something. "Thank you, sir."

"Phil," he reminded her.

"Of course," she shook his hand and went to her quarters to change into work out clothes. She went in and there were a few pairs working out and then one woman stretching on the mats, she was older than the other people in the room but beyond that it was difficult to tell her age. "Agent May?"

"I'm not an agent," May said standing up.

Peggy was trying to size her up. "What division do you work for?"

May smiled. "Phil thought I'd be well suited to your needs and someone at work suggested something reprehensible, so I want to deal some damage."

Peggy nodded and stretched out a bit. The two women met in the centre of the mat and circled each other. "I am a field agent, I will not hold back."

May struck fast and hand. "That won't be necessary." It was enough of a single and the two women went into a fully spar. It was fast and brutal and both were barely holding back their punches. So the other people in the room stopped their own workouts to watch. 

After 30 minutes Peggy stepped back hands up. "I yield," she said quickly. She didn't want Bucky to see her with too many bruises and cuts.

May braced her hands on her knees. "Thank christ, I had nothing left."

There was some applause. Bobbi came over with towels and water. "Damn May, what did the PTA say this time?"

"They suggested that I had brought in too many LGBTQA young adult novels," May snarled. "Apparently having a book about a trans youth might give a child confusing ideas. Xavier said I wasn't allowed to break their faces. They threatened to cut my funding. Pepper promised that wouldn't be happening. But it made me cranky."

Peggy looked at her. "Librarian?"

"At a private school, for gifted children and teens. Coulson said you needed a partner and he doesn't like how much I kick his ass," Melinda smiled a little. 

Bobbi rolled her eyes. "You guys use sparring as foreplay, your son has asked me if all sex starts with arm bar holds."

"And you are married to the director?" Peggy was stunned. "Why don't you work for us?"

"Because books matter more. And you don't want a field agent who's staring down 50," May said easily. "I need to shower and go get the kids from Tony and Pepper. See you later Bobbi, Ms Carter a rematch anytime."|

"The director called in his wife just to spare with me. His wife the librarian, who kicked my ass and is almost 50." Peggy stared after her in awe. "Can I be her when I grow up?"

Bobbi snorted. "That's about the usual response, unless you know, they're still on the ground whimpering."

Peggy laughed a bit and felt just a little better.

**************************************************

"Who are you?" Bucky had gone to his father's room and there was a woman sitting there, her feet up on the bed. She had been reading to his dad. 

"Skye," she said and gave a wave. "You're the kid right?" 

"Yeah, I'm 'the kid'," he answered. "Bucky." He didn't know if he wanted to go or stay. "Why are you here?"

"DC thought you and Agent Carter needed a break, but he needs to hear people, so he roped a couple people into helping out. Your dad big into science fiction?"

"No he likes romances," Bucky said.

Skye shrugged. "Well, the man loves his space ship, it's close enough." She looked at Bucky like she was waiting for something but he had no idea what, and then she just kept reading. Bucky stayed and listened and drifted over into a chair. She had a good reading voice, smooth, just a little husky. He started to curl his legs up but that still pulled at healing wounds too much and sort of slouched down.

"Why'd you call her Agent Carter?" Bucky asked when she took a break to sip some water.

"Because that is her job title, she's a field agent for SHIELD," Skye explained.

"But what does that mean?" Bucky pushed. "Are you a field agent?"

"Oh god no. I'm in IT here, and sort of a nanny for DC's kids."

"DC."

"Director Coulson."

"He was in here one night, talking to Carter while she was visiting Dad. She visits him every night," Bucky said.

"And you hate that," Skye put down her tablet.

"She threw us away, she doesn't get to play at whatever she's playing at right now," Bucky crossed his arms and glared. "We aren't hers to play hero for."

"Margaret Carter has been a hero for 12 years. She didn't need to come to the two of you to be one," Skye said gently. "SHIELD is an international security firm. Active 'agents' provide security for important people, perform extractions in sticky situations, go undercover. She's worked in partnership with MI-5 and MI-6 and the CIA. If we were affiliated with the government she'd have medals up the wazoo."

"Like I give a fuck," Bucky froze as if him saying that would somehow wake up his dad. It didn't. "Fuck fuck fuck, mother fucking, fuckers, fuck fuck, fucking mother fucking hell," he shouted. His dad didn't even twitch.

"Feel a little better?" Skye asked.

"No," Bucky sighed. "Maybe a little." He looked Skye. "She...I'm glad we're here and not at the hospital, here I'm told what is going on and treated like a person and I can see Dad. I owe her for that. But I don't owe her anything beyond that."

"The doctors and nurses here are great. Mostly it is about post injury therapy, but your Dad is in good hands, so are you," Skye smiled. "I fucked up my hands last year. Micro fractures just finger tip to elbow, they got me back lightening fast on the keyboard."

"You can look at me," Bucky said.

"I am."

"I mean the arm. It's okay to stare, how can you not?" Bucky pointed. "Missing limb."

Skye shrugged. "I've seen worse."

"Bullshit."

"While you are here, you really should meet Mike Peterson," Skye said. Her watch beeped. "May's done, I'm heading out. I'll see you around Bucky. See you too, Steve. You really should wake up, you are worrying your kid."

Bucky watched her. "You don't suck. A lot of the people here don't suck."

"It's in the interview process. Do you now or have you ever sucked?" Skye joked. "Apparently though people can have interesting answers for that."

"Why?"

Skye just winked and left Bucky alone with his dad. It took Bucky way longer than it should have but in his defense he had almost died not too long ago. "Oh sex." he laughed a little. He moved into the chair closer to his Dad. "Come on, Dad, I said the F word a ton and someone just told me a dirty joke. That's got to wake you up right?"

"He's not a prude."

"Like you would know," Bucky muttered. "Unless you've been spying on him. You are after a spy, aren't you?"

"Mostly a bodyguard," Peggy replied easily. "I tend to get impatient on long term assignments."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I did, you'll find."

"Fine, have you been spying on us?" Bucky asked. He refused to look at her.

"No," she answered. "I have you flagged in my personnel file. Only three people at the office would know about the two of you. If your father was ever in trouble with the law, or far more likely trouble found him, a flag would have gone up. But I never actively looked into you."

Bucky had no idea if that made him feel better or worse.

"He's not waking up. What happens to me if he doesn't wake up?" Bucky asked after the silence in the room grew painful.

"I still have faith he'll wake up." Peggy finally moved closer into the room.

"But if he doesn't, I'm just what?" Bucky pressed. "I'm nobody to you, he dies, you'll toss me out easy enough."

Peggy moved in and was gripping the side of Steve's bed. "Listen to me James Buchanan Rogers, you have never,  _ever_ , been nothing to me. And I promise if the worst happens, you will be taken care of, in a manner you find acceptable. But for now that sort of speculation serves no purpose. You need to focus on healing yourself and helping your father in any way you can. And this anger, this negativity will not be what wakes him up."

"What will, your dulcet tones, the stiff British upper lip?" Bucky asked.

"I don't know," Peggy answered. "I just know the man I knew was a fighter. To the end of the line."

"Because I knew your left hook would save me," Steve whispered.

They both turned to him in shock.

"Dad?" Bucky gripped his father's hand. "Dad?"

Steve had already fallen back asleep again.

But it didn't matter. He had woken up. Bucky thought his smile would split his face. He couldn't stop staring at his dad. He had woken up.

"Hey Carter, can you bel-" Bucky turned his head but Carter had left the room silently.

Peggy hurried down the hall until she found a quiet bathroom. She sank to the ground. She didn't cry, but just stayed there. Bobbi found her and sat beside her and didn't say a word. Just kept her company until the shaking stopped.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve managed to stay awake 20 minutes at a go, it was considered amazing progress. He was just pissed that he couldn't stay awake for 30. The first thing he asked was if Bucky wanted to move into the room with him. 

Bucky looked a little tempted but, "I'm ahead of you on recovery and you need more sleep than me bunking in here would give you."

"When I'm a little better, sleep over?" Steve smiled at his son.

"Totally, I've met a couple people here who would sneak us in some pizza," Bucky said. "Probably some bad movies and soda too."

"Peggy always liked mischief," Steve said fondly.

Bucky's face shut down. "Carter doesn't seem very fun to me."

"Bucky, about Peggy Carter," Steve tried to sit up and was just too damn weak.

"I know who she is," Bucky hunched in his chair. He went to cross his arms, but nothing was there. "And I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Steve said on a yawn. "Do you want to talk about how you are doing?"

"Nope," Bucky replied. 

"I know they offered you some help."

"Not talking to a shrink, I'll be fine." Bucky drew his legs up. "It...I can still feel my fingers," he said quietly.

"Come here," Steve held out a hand and he budged over as much as he could on his bed.

"We won't both fit," Bucky protested.

"We'll manage," Steve promised.  He could see that Bucky was ready to crack and wanted his son in his arm. He didn't give a damn and yanked out the iv that was delivering the pain medication and that gave him better range of movement. He made a tiny pocket of space and Bucky squeezed himself in, Steve's arm the only thing stopping him from falling off.

Bucky knew his dad would never let him fall. "You tried to protect me."

"Until the end of the line, kiddo," Steve whispered. That was enough and Bucky started to cry, great heaving sobs, releasing all the pain and fear of the last three weeks. "I have you, James, I have you." Both were worn out and fell asleep like that. Neither knew Peggy checked on them and took a photo before walking away.

*****************************************

Steve managed to walk to the bathroom himself with the provided crutches and when he came back to the bed shaky, but still standing. The leg in the cast itched like crazy. Bucky cheered and so did a young woman he didn't recognize. She wasn't a nurse.

"Hey there, I'm Skye, I read to you while you were enjoying the longest nap ever," she held out a hand. "Bucky here has been offering incentives for me to sneak in pizza, but since he was offering you up, thought I should consult." Her grin was wicked and she looked Steve up and down.

Steve turned bright red. "Bucky," he hissed. "This isn't like the charity auction again is it?"

"What, Skye is great," Bucky countered. "She smart and a brunette, you like brunettes."

"And a decade younger than me," Steve answered and turned even redder. "I'm sorry ma'am, I don't know what Bucky told you -"

"I know who you are, you know," she interrupted.

"Huh?"

"Steve Rogers, the artist, right?" She tapped on a tablet and pulled up a photo of a gallery showing.

"Oh, I'm not that famous," Steve shrugged a little. "I make enough to support us and that's good enough for me."

Bucky was offended as he always was. "You are a great artist Dad, there are like famous people who buy your paintings. You've had 2 gallery shows now, the second written up in all the papers."

"Ooh famous people like who?" Skye gently teased.

"Like Tony Stark, that's who," Bucky said, sure she was making fun. 

"That would be impressive, if I didn't know that Tony couldn't name any single piece of art in his homes," Skye said. "But Pepper was the one to buy it and she has impeccable taste. Your painting hangs here in their New York apartment. It is one of Pepper's favourites. DC has an eye on your piece  _she walks in shadows_ for his wife for their anniversary."

"He's the one in charge of here?" Steve asked, knowing that Bucky had mentioned him.

"He is."

"He can have it, a thanks for all of this."

"He'll insist on paying, a stand up guy like that," Skye said. "But what Bucky was bribing me with was your sketching abilities. One authentic Steve Rogers sketch of any subject of my choosing for all the pizza I can smuggle in." She looked him up and down again. "But hey you want to up that offer I'd be down for it."

"Uh, no ma'am, a sketch I can do."

"He doesn't date, he never dates," Bucky muttered.

Skye handed Steve a photo and a box of art supplies. "For if you get a bit bored."

"Thanks," Steve said. "Thanks for everything."

"SHIELD takes care of its own," Skye answered. She gave Bucky a wink and walked out.

"Think she'll wait for me to grow up? She's cool," Bucky said.

"You don't like girls, you are 5," Steve said quickly.

"Dad I'll be 13 in a couple months, and I can tell you, I like girls," Bucky grinned and Steve for a minute could picture him all grown up and it caused an ache.

"Oh yeah what sort then, you old man, you?" Steve teased. He was so happy right now, it was a normal conversation with his kid, like maybe the accident hadn't happened.

"I have decided I like redheads," Bucky said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, Skye gave me a bunch of Red Sonja comics to read, I'm going to fall in love with a redhead who can kick my ass one day."

"Women who can kick your ass are the best," Steve agreed.

Bucky was quiet. "I haven't been keeping her away," he said.

"I know," Steve promised. It was the first time they brought up that Peggy hadn't been by since Steve woke up. "I know."

"I didn't think she was a coward. Lots of things, but not a coward."

"Your mother is never a coward," Steve said sharply.

"Then why hasn't she seen you after going to all this effort for you?" Bucky asked.

"For us," Steve reminded him.

"Come on Dad, nothing with her has ever been about me," Bucky said bitterly. 

Steve was heartbroken. He had always spoken well of Peggy the gift she had given him, by letting him keep Bucky, but it seemed it had gotten distorted along the way. "Bucky," he said.

"No." Bucky shook his head. "I'm going back to my room for a bit." 

Steve watched Bucky walk away. He hit his call button, he wanted to talk to the doctor, Bucky needed someone to talk to.

**************************************

It was 2am and Steve couldn't sleep. He was so worried about Bucky. He was sitting up in bed, light low, sketching. His hand was sore, the few weeks away and all the i.v.s that had been in it making the work more tiring than usual, but it was so satisfying. He just kept drawing the eagle symbol that was on the wall over and over.

He heard a noise in the hall figured it was a nurse doing rounds, but the sound stopped in front of his door. No one knocked. He could almost feel the person hovering there.

"Peggy," he said, just loud enough to be heard. "Peggy." 

The door opened and she walked in. 

She had grown prettier, her body was a little softer, but he supposed she wasn't living at the poverty line anymore, got to eat more than soup. Hair was longer too, no longer in that cute little bob. And her eyes, her eyes were very different now. But he supposed he looked rather different to her as well.

"Steve," she said. She hovered by the door. "How are you?"

"I'd imagine you've received a daily report on how we're doing," Steve answered.

"True, they are impressed with your recovery since you woke up," Peggy moved forward. "The Steve I remember, wouldn't have survived."

"Yeah," Steve looked down at his body. "It's a bit different than you remember, I suppose."

"Taking part in an experimental medical procedure was dangerous. Bucky was six, what would have happened if?" Peggy let the question hang in the air.

"Peggy, I was sick. Again. And I would have kept getting sick until I died and left him alone anyways. It was a risk, but it was worth it. Mama had your number if it was needed."

"Aside from how horrible you look, you look good," she smiled.

"So do you. You must be a pretty big deal these days to have made all this happen," Steve looked around the private room. 

"I'm up for a promotion," she agreed. "Out of the field, head of logistics at the London office."

"Congratulations, Peggy," Steve said earnestly. "Always knew you'd be amazing."

"Your art is gorgeous," Peggy offered. "I -" she shook her head and left what she was going to say alone. "I should actually get back to London. They'll take good care of you here."

"I told your son that you weren't a coward. Are you going to make a liar out of me?" Steve asked.

She glared at him. "I have work, you know that has always mattered to me."

"I know that, but I'm betting you are still on leave, you like having all your ducks in a row," Steve countered. "That wouldn't have changed." 

Peggy gave him a grudging nod. 

"You weren't a coward when you made your choice, you know," Steve said quietly. "I always thought it was rather brave of you."

"He hates me," she whispered.

"I never wanted that."

"He has every right," Peggy said. "I don't want to...he has every right," she just repeated. "And I shouldn't pressure him to feel anything else." Peggy paused. "Now that you are staying awake, is there anyone you want here? A girlfriend, a partner."

"I don't date," Steve said.

"You don't currently have a partner?" Peggy asked.

"No, Margaret, I don't date, I've never dated. Drove my mom crazy, no matter how she tried to set me up," Steve smiled. "I had no reason to."

"Don't," she begged. "Don't say whatever you are thinking."

"You made your choice, and I made mine," Steve said simply. 

Peggy shook head. "I need to go shoot something."

Steve laughed a little. "You go shoot something. Come back to see me whenever you want." He watched her hesitate. "Peggy."

"No." Peggy turned and left the room.

Steve leaned back against his pillow.

Fuck his heart hurt so much. He would think that they had missed an injury, except he knew that the pain wasn't physical, but for his son and the woman he had never stopped loving.


	6. Chapter 6

"No," Phil said politely.

"I don't understand, I don't think that lines up with what I was saying," Steve sat up on his bed a little more and tried not to be intimidated by the man. He was bigger than Phil by a fair bit, but Steve never shook off the feeling that everyone was bigger and stronger than him. But to be fair, he could also see the gun under the man's jacket.

"I am pretty sure, no was the correct response, Mr. Rogers," Phil said. He smiled. "You are mistaken."

"We're both healed up enough to go home -" Steve held up a hand. "Or at least to a local hospital. No offense intended Mr. Coulson, but the care here, we can't repay it."

"We're not asking you to," Phil explained.

"What? You've spent a fortune on people who don't work for you," Steve stared at him in shock.

"Not really, and anyways we have a fortune to spend if we want, and my people have been coming home in mostly one piece recently. Staff was getting bored. And they inform me that you and your son are healing at a very quick rate," Phil pointed to where the casts had come off of Steve, "but that you should stay for at least another week, even if it is just for getting your son properly fitted for a prosthetic. I have a man designing a few. He needed a new project."

"I'm sure your team are doing a bang up job," Steve began.

Phil snorted a little. "Bang is right, I finally convinced Stark that it didn't need any rockets in it."

"Stark," Steve said dumbfound. "Tony Stark is designing an arm for my son."

Phil shrugged. "He needed a new project. He and my kids were getting a little world domination-y again."

Steve smiled. "You have kids?"

Phil moved forward, pulling out his phone. "Two. Clint and Natasha, they're 10 now and Jesus how did that happen?"

"Bucky was born last week," Steve looked at the photo. They were with that girl Skye, the boy hanging upside down on the monkey bars, the girl seeming to do a ballet pose in combat boots. "Oh man, they look like trouble."

"The C.I.A. regularly calls me asking me to stop them from hacking their systems."

Steve laughed and then realized the man wasn't laughing. "Oh," he was not in a world he understood here.

"One more week won't hurt anything. You both need some PT and I have the best. An arm will be ready soon." Phil handed him a couple cards. "Meal card for the cafeteria, and swipe card for the gym, so you two can get your strength back. Around 2:30 would be a good time for you two to go to the gym."

"Thank you sir, really, Skye told me you want this one painting, it's yours," Steve said earnestly.

"I'm going to pay for it," Phil said mildly.

"And then I'll return the money."

"You might find that...difficult."

"I'll donate it to charity then," Steve replied.

"I like you Mr. Rogers," Phil said, a real smile on his face. "Also, not to point this out, but um, you sort of look like Captain America and even have his name. Not that it is a big deal, just you know...you really look like a comic book hero." Phil flushed a little.

Steve grinned and Phil flushed just a little bit more. "Yeah, I love those comic books. Even dressed as Captain America a couple times."

Phil blinked and Steve could tell he was clearly picturing it and wanted to laugh that a man who had seemed so intimidating might actually be a dork. "My wife got a Cap shield tattoo just under her boob to prove her love for me. It has our initials in the middle," Phil blurted out.

Steve's romantic heart melted at that. "You're alright, you know."

"You too. I'm going to go. Call my wife. Yeah," Phil nodded and left with a wave.

Everyone who worked here was just a little bit odd, Steve decided. He got up slowly, pleased when he was stiff and weak but not in a lot of pain. He thought going to a gym and a slow walk on a treadmill might feel nice. He made his way across the hall to Bucky's room. Bucky was on the bed just staring out the window.

"Hey kid, I got us access to more places around here. Cafeteria and gym. Want to go grab a bite?"

"Nope," Bucky said.

"Come on you have to be getting as stir crazy in here as me. Not that these aren't the nicest hospital rooms ever, but still, different walls would be nice, wouldn't they?" Steve asked.

Bucky hunched in a little and went to cross him arms, only well, he couldn't really do that.

Steve sat on the bed and pulled him close even though Bucky fought it a little. "It's okay," he soothed.

"What if people stare?" Bucky asked. "Here it is all medical people and Skye but she's cool. But they aren't...they have to be okay. Rest of the place might not be."

"Okay, cafeteria too open, right now," Steve said not wanting to push his son. "What about the gym, I wouldn't make a slow walk on a treadmill."

"Doctor say that was okay for you? You got the casts off two days ago," Bucky said.

"The director of this place gave me the gym pass, said we can use it at 2:30. I'd imagine he wouldn't do that if it wasn't all clear, liability and all that." 

Bucky thought about it. He had been going to a gym with his dad for years, ever since the serum had worked its magic. People were used to all sorts of weird stuff in gyms. "That could be good."

Steve was relieved and more than ever wanted to make sure that he looked into finding someone for Bucky to talk to.

*********************************

"This isn't like the gym in Brooklyn," Bucky said, staring at the space. "Is this the whole floor of the building? It is giant." 

It was huge and well lit, with every machine ever, mats, even a full sized boxing ring.

"Are those swords on the wall?" Steve pointed to by the mats.

"Yup," a woman said cheerfully. "I use staves, but hey swords are pretty sweet." 

Both guys looked at her and swallowed. "Dad, she's a freaking amazon," Bucky tried to whisper. It came out a shout and cracked in the middle.

"I'm Bobbi, an agent who happens to know a little about PT, comes from losing a third of your lung to a bullet" she said easily. They stared at her in shock, and she laughed a bit. "And for today I'd say you both get a tour of everything in here and then a gentle ten minute walk on the treadmill. Come on," she said. There were maybe half a dozen people in the gym who waved or nodded to Bobbi as she showed them around.

"Ma'am -"

"Yeah, stick with Bobbi, please," she said.

"Bobbi, is there a particular reason Mr. Coulson told us 2:30 for the gym?"

"It tends to be a quiet time, and agents tend to be...loud when they work out," she said. A door from the locker room opened and she smiled. "And knowing Coulson it was also because Agent Peterson works out at around this time."

"I don't understand," Steve said. "Why do I need to know Agent Peterson?"

"You don't," Bobbi said gently. "Bucky, right? Let me introduce you. Hey Mike, come over here!" Bobbi called out.

Bucky moved a little closer to his dad, the guy was scary. He had a lot of scars on his arms and he wasn't bulky but all muscle.

And had a prosthetic leg.

"Skye mentioned you, said she had seen worse than me." Bucky's eyes widened. "Oops."

Mike laughed and held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Mike."

"Bucky," Bucky was tentative but met the handshake.

"Steve, how about you come with me, we'll get you set up on a treadmill," Bobbi gently began to steer him away. "This will be good for Bucky,"

"I didn't tell you my name," Steve said. He thought about it. "Coulson is sneaky."

"The sneakiest," Bobbi agreed. "But he and Peggy thought Mike would be able to help."

"Why didn't Peggy talk to me about it?" Steve asked.

"She thought it best if this seemed more casual, and that you were incapable of subterfuge," Bobbi said with a bit of a smirk. "Come on up, five minutes on the setting we have for the 80 year olds." 

Steve hesitated it meant his eyes would be off Bucky.

"In my sight lines," Bobbi promised.

Steve nodded and began to walk.

**********************************

Bucky stared at Mike as Mike did some free weights. "So you have an office job here?" Bucky asked.

"No, field agent," Mike said easily.

"But you're broken."

"I'm different than before I kicked a mine away from the people I was with," Mike said. "My son took some time to get used to the leg, but now he likes me to kick the soccer ball as far as I can," he said as he switched the weights out. "Took a lot of therapy, and a few different legs to find the right match, but I love being out in the field. Coulson helped me get back there."

"Do people stare a lot?"

"Some," Mike said, "But you get used to it."

"Really?"

"Almost," Mike admitted. "And the people who matter will be cool."

"Skye's pretty cool about it all," Bucky said.

"Skye's the coolest," Mike agreed. He handed a fifteen pound weight to Bucky. "Try some curls." He guided Bucky through the motion. "It sucks. Won't say different. But you learn to deal."

Bucky nodded, he appreciated the honestly. "Maybe we could talk a little more?"

"Sure, I'm not headed out for a few weeks, don't think," Mike said.

Bucky did a few more curls and followed Mike to a leg press machine. "So you are a field agent, like Peggy Carter?" he asked casually.

"How you know her?" Mike asked.

"Skye mentioned her."

Mike shrugged. "No one is a field agent like Peggy Carter. Give Bobbi a few more years maybe, but no one moved up the ranks faster or harder than her. I'm a pure muscle agent. Throw the punch, protect the person, follow orders." Mike rested after a set. "She makes the orders. Never worked with her, but understand no one better at thinking on the fly. She's actually been teaching while she's here."

"Teaching?"

"Environmental combat, adaptive thinking, that sort of stuff," Mike shrugged. "Not really my line. Bobbi's been sitting in though." Mike looked over. "Think your dad might be done."

Bucky looked over and yeah his dad looked wrecked. "Man, he needs such looking after," Bucky joked. "Will you?"

"Every other day around this time, I'm here," Mike said. "And call dispatch if you need to talk, they'll get a hold of me."

"Thanks."

"SHIELD takes care of its own," Mike smiled and started another rep.

Bucky went over to his dad, who was having his pulse checked by Bobbi. He overheard her say, "It's early but Peggy is going to be giving a demonstration at 7 tomorrow in a kitchen that Coulson created for her down on the 5th. Might be worth checking out."

"Peggy can't cook," Steve said.

"Not that kind of demo," Bobbi grinned. "Give you a chance to see who she is."

"I know who she is," Steve said.

"Do you?" Bobbi saw Bucky, "Get him upstairs. He's exhausted."

The two went upstairs and the nurse took a look at them and pushed them towards the hot tub to sooth muscles. Steve tried to protest, but she had a mighty glare. They soaked in silence, both pleased that they had gone out in the world, even if it was just three floors down.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Bucky?"

"Are you going to watch Carter tomorrow?"

"Heard that, huh?" Steve looked at Bucky who nodded. "Not unless the invitation is from her."

"She won't," Bucky muttered.

"Then I won't," Steve answered simply. "Want to watch a movie tonight?"

"No."

"Okay," Steve closed his eyes and focused on staying awake. Bucky had to poke him a couple times to make sure he didn't drown.

**************************************************

At 6:45am Bucky sneaked out of his room. He made it to the elevator and hit the button for 5 but it denied him access. He kept stabbing it but getting nowhere. He tried 6 and that worked. He figured maybe he could take stairs from there. When it opened, Skye and Bobbi were there.

"Not the one I expected," Bobbi said. "You want -"

Skye smiled. "No, I got him, go play."

"Yes!" Bobbi ran down the hall.

"We'll go to the observation room," Skye said. "No way am I stepping into that demo." Skye pushed him back to the elevator and used her card to access five.

"Why couldn't I get to the fifth floor?"

"Armory is on there. Can't connect directly from medical," Skye explained.

"You have grenade launchers?" he joked.

"Sure, but they aren't as fun as you think," Skye said.

"Huh." Bucky looked at her. "You ever kill anyone?"

"Nope. Been on ops where people died, but I'm always in the background. I had to, I think I could pull the kill shot, but haven't had to yet." Skye guided him down a hall and into a room that was set up with coffee and pastries and had a bunch of people talking.

"This kid is not here, we understand?" Skye asked the room.

Everyone nodded and ignored him. Skye got him some donuts and he sat in a comfy chair and put the plate on his lap. He had a new found love for one handed food these days. It was the only reason he was looking forward to being fitted for an arm soon. Skye looked at her watch as a few more came in, including Director Coulson.

"Good morning, everyone," Phil said. He quirked a brow at Bucky but otherwise ignored the pre-teen. "As we know Agent Carter has been giving us some excellent lectures and been working in the gym with people. Today though we've set up a more practical application. The rounds are live, medical is of course standing by. All agents have orders to incapacitate up to and including broken arms and ribs. Let's see what we can all learn."

Phil sat down and everyone else did as well.

"I don't get it," Bucky whispered to Skye.

"Agent Carter is probably our best environmental or adaptive fighter. It's something a lot of agents struggle with, you lose your gun or knife what do you do, because sometimes being able to throw a punch isn't enough. She's been teaching how to use the surroundings around you, now she is showing us practically. When Coulson allows this sort of demonstration, no pulled punches. You fight for your life in practice, so you know it in the field."

"Yeah, but come on not really," Bucky said. The screen in front of them changed and Bucky saw what looked like a hotel kitchen. People, pots going, chopping, and that woman Bobbi plating.

"Live in three, two, one," Phil called out.

Peggy came in through the side door and was immediately stopped. "Sorry ma'am, guests aren't allowed in here," a waiter said.

"Spot inspection," she said calmly holding up a badge.

"We were just done yesterday, leave," the man pushed her.

Bucky watched Peggy hit him with her purse and it took him out more than it should.

"Carter special, her purse is lined with metal weights," Skye said. "Just watch."

Bucky watched in awe and horror as chaos broke out. Peggy lost her gun when one of Bobbi's staves hit her wrist, he wondered if it was broken, the way she was favouring it. But she just worked through the room, using a cutting board as a shield and grabbed a chef's knife and mimed slitting a throat. Movie fights like these looked cool, but this? This was brutal and ugly and Peggy took a hard hit to the face and kept going. In fifteen minutes it was done, Peggy the only one left standing, holding a waitress's serving tray.

Everyone in the room clapped and Phil was talking about watching the tapes and breaking it down.

"That's my mom," Bucky said. He didn't know if he was impressed or terrified. It was likely both.

"She's a master class in badassery," Skye said. "But that doesn't mean she isn't a shit person."

"What?" Bucky stared at Skye. "She isn't shit. If she was Dad would never have stayed in love with her." Bucky frowned and realized what he said. "I...I don't know what she is."

Skye gave him a gentle smile. "While you are still here, do you want to find out?"

Bucky shrugged. He didn't know. "I should get back up before Dad misses me."

"Come on," Skye said. They went and waited for an elevator.

"I'll take him up, apparently I need a few stitches," Peggy said behind them.

"That okay, kid?" Skye asked.

After a moment Bucky nodded.

Peggy and Bucky waited in silence after Skye left. On the elevator it was painful.

"You destroyed them."

"No, destroying implies no one walked away. Everyone walked away," Peggy said.

"How many people have you killed?"

She thought about it. "Not more than fifty, I don't think."

"Shit," Bucky said.

"That is accurate," Peggsy answered.

"So this is why you threw me away," Bucky challenged. "To be a murderer."

Peggy stopped the elevator. "I didn't throw you away, I gave you up to your father, the best man I have ever know. And I have killed people to keep others safe, and in one instance stop a mad man from dropping dirty bombs onto a major city."

Bucky refused to flinch. "Tell me you missed me. Tell me that you bought me Christmas gifts that you had to give away to charity. That you wept or got drunk on my birthday. That you have my baby photo in some secret location and you wrote all these important letters to me that would one day help me understand and make me forgive you and love you. Tell me I mattered at all to you."

"I burned the photos I had the day I went to my quarters. After the day I said goodbye to you, I didn't weep once. I didn't feel an ache when I saw children with brown hair, and I never wrote you a letter. I went months, years barely thinking about you and your father." Peggy met his gaze squarely and honestly. "And if I hadn't been contacted because of the train derailment, I would have never in the whole of my life sought you out."

"You don't regret it at all?" Bucky asked.

"If I had it all to do again, I would make the exact same choice. Because James Buchanan Rogers, you mattered so very much," Peggy said. "You mattered. You were born, and given to your father, and you mattered." Her voice was fierce as she said this. Firm and sure. "I don't regret my choices at all. I know who I am and I did the right thing." Peggy took a breath and started the elevator.

Bucky stared at the doors. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being honest," he said.

"I never once lied to your father, I see no reason to change that policy with you," Peggy said. The doors opened and Bucky stepped out.

He turned and looked at her. "Dad and I eat lunch around 11:30. You could eat with us, if you wanted."

Peggy looked at him in surprise. "After what I just said? Why?"

"Because you didn't fake cry and do lifetime movie bullshit," Bucky said. "Because I saw you take out 10 people and then deal with me. Because now that we are here, I want to know who you are." He took a breath. "Because I don't think I hate you, and want to see if that's true."

"We'll see," Peggy hit the down button.

"Don't be a coward," Bucky said and stuck out his jaw.

"You look like your father." The doors closed.

She arrived at 11:25 with sandwiches.


	7. Chapter 7

Bucky hated the arm. It was ugly and just wrong. They tried to make it look like skin but it was all plasticy and fake and wrong and he just wanted to throw it and smash it into a million pieces. It was wrong.

But he smiled at the doctor, "thanks."

"We have a therapist coming this afternoon to help you learn to use it." The doctor smiled. "This is just a temporary arm. Yours has been delayed, again. Why the director trusts that man, I'll never know."

"Who?" Bucky asked.

"It doesn't matter," the doctor said. "Let's just see if you can adjust to this arm, shall we?"

"Sure. When can me and Dad go home?" Bucky asked.

"Honestly?" The doctor said, "End of the week, if all goes well getting used to the arm. You and he and finish your therapies on an outpatient basis."

"Sweet," Bucky grinned.

The doctor made his goodbyes and as soon as he was out the door, Bucky's smile faded. He stared at the plastic and poked it. It didn't move, didn't feel. And the weight felt different that what an arm did. He had never noticed what an arm weighed before but now it was all he knew. He needed away. Bucky checked the halls but his dad's door was closed and no one was there. He went for the stairs and went down a couple floors and decided screw it and went out to see what was there.

*********************************

"Tony, this isn't a casual project. You were due to have it done a week ago," Phil said sternly.

"Well, the specs were off, and then a wire blew, and -"

Bruce didn't look up from his biography of Marie Curie. "And he's scared of getting it wrong."

Phil looked at Tony, who flushed a little. "It's a kid okay? I can't screw this up." Tony glanced at Bruce who looked up from his book to smile at Tony. "Oh shut up, you made me feel things, okay?" Tony crossed his arms and pouted. "Stupid found family crap." He sat down in a chair an oblong case beside it.

"I trust that is the finished project?"

"Yeah, but...it might be stupid."

Phil smiled a little at his friend. "Of course it is stupid, you have horrible taste."

"Hey!"

"Your douchey sunglasses, half your cars, the -"

"The anything not picked by Pepper," Bruce added. Tony scowled at both of them. "But Tony? The arm is cool."

Phil was about to say more but his phone rang. He listened to the person at the other end and gave minimal reply before hanging up. "Bucky, it seems, has finally decided to do a walk about, he’s currently on the handlers floor. The doctor said he didn’t react well to the prosthetic they offered him. Bruce,” Phil said. “Would you go talk to him? I think an agent or even the people he knows would spook him a bit. I am sure he is lonely for people his own age at this point. He’s on the 12th.”

“Sure, Phil,” Bruce said. He threw his book to Tony who caught it automatically and left to see what was up.

***********************

Boring offices. No armory, no labs, just looked like a law office or something. People were ignoring him too, which was weird. He was sure some sort of security would come along and drag him to his dad, and he’d be in so much shit. 

He wondered if Carter would be the one to collect him. He hit another stairwell and decided to go down. Only down a flight there was another kid. He looked around the same age as Bucky, skinny, and a bit short. First kid he had seen since they came here. “So...you know where the ray guns are?” he asked.

“No, not allowed until I’m 15,” the boy answered. “But...I do have access to the level 2 labs. Wanna see?”

“Just like that?” Bucky scowled. “No way do they let me walk in.”

“No but they will let me, and by now everyone in the building knows you are on the loose, so imagine they’d happy you are contained. I’m Bruce,” he gave a wave.

Bucky automatically held out his hand.

“I don’t really like touching people,” Bruce said. “Not ones I don’t know.”

“Germaphobe?”

“Touch averse due to a severely traumatic childhood, is what the shrink said,” Bruce shrugged. “But I don’t think I’m that touch averse. Just picky.”

“Okay…” Bucky looked at him. “So, completely nuts?”

“70%,” Bruce smiled a little. “Wanna see cool shit?”

“Sure,” Bucky followed him down to the labs. 

Bruce kept up a commentary as they went, random thoughts, and Bucky had to cut in. “It Clint your boyfriend?”

“Huh?” Bruce asked.

“Every third sentence is ‘well Clint -’, wondered if he was your guy,” Bucky asked.

“I’m 12, and he’s 10, I don’t think we’re dating,” Bruce paused. “No, he’d tell me if we were. It’s like how he’s promised to let me know 3 months before we get married.”

Bucky tried to process that sentence. “I don’t get it.”

“Neither do I, but he has it planned, so it should all work out.” Bruce pointed at a microscope. “I’m helping make mouthwash that can sober you up in an instant.”

“I think I want to go back to medical now. You are weird.”

“Yeah, I blame Tony’s influence,” Bruce said.

“I think you might be weird on your own.”

“I’ll run the data and let you know. I’ll take you back up to medical.” Bruce opened the lab door for him and they headed up. “I’m not missing a limb, but I know from feeling like a freak,” he said abruptly.

“Oh my god, you are horrible at conversations,” Bucky stared at him almost in awe.

“This is why it should be Clint or Tashie, they can pretend to be human.” Bruce tugged at his hair a bit. “I’m too smart, like way too smart, and my dad killed my mom, and everyone hurt me or got rid of me, and just...I’ve never been in a train wreck, but I’ve been in a train wreck,” Bruce managed to say.

Bucky looked at him. “I’m scared when we go home, how my friends will react. I don’t want to go to gym class and have to change because forget the arm, there are just scars.” Bucky sighed, “And everything just feels different.”

“Different, I can understand. And if they are your friends, they’ll support you and crush your enemies either by ruining their lives or actual crushing.”

“I don’t think friends crush enemies,” Bucky said. “I mean Brooklyn these days is more smother them in organic quinoa than crushing.”

Bruce frowned a bit. “No, no I am pretty sure if you have best friends, they kill people for you.”

Bucky laughed. “Remind me to become friends with you.”

Bruce beamed. “I only have 4, so that would be great.”

“...I was joking,” Bucky said. He felt horrible when the other boy’s face fell. “But you know, maybe not? I don’t do science though.”

“That’s okay,” Bruce froze when the elevator opened and he could hear yelling. “I don’t like angry yelling,” he admitted and shrank into the elevator.

Bucky had enough of his dad in him that he automatically went into protective mode and stomped down the hallway. “Carter, Rogers, enough!” He yelled. His parents stared at him in shock. “You are scaring Bruce. So calm the hell down.”

“You went missing,” Steve said.

“In this place, they knew where I was every second,” Bucky dismissed.

“True, but it is disrespectful to wander around a place without permission when they’ve given you so much,” Peggy said.

“I’m tired of being stuck inside, I hate this stupid plastic arm, I hate how you and Dad just circle each other even though you clearly have something to say, and I hate that everything no matter what is changing and I have had zero control over any of it.” Bucky was breathing harshly. Everyone stared at him, sadness and pain in their gazes. “And I hate that everyone looks at me like that,” he added.

“I can help with the arm?” Bruce said from still near the elevator, ready to run. “Let me text Tony, he’s with Phil.” Bruce was tapping on his phone. “We’ll probably need the doctor too.”

“Who’s he?” Steve asked Bucky.

“He’s Bruce, we’re friends now. He likes science.”

“You hate science,” Steve said. 

“Yin and Yang,” Bucky waved his hand. “He’s weird. I have decided I am going to have a weird friend now.”

“Bucky -”

“Come on Dad, when we go home next week, you telling me all the guys are going to be okay with it? How many phone calls and texts have I gotten?” Bucky asked. “After the initial wave, there’s been what a half dozen?” Bucky shook his head. “I won’t be able to play sports, not with this.” 

“Well no, not with that crap, but with mine you can,” Tony said as he walked down the hall. Phil was beside him and rolled his eyes. “Bucky, Agent Carter, Mister Rogers, this is Tony Stark. My eternal apologies.”   


“I build, at no charge, the arm of the future, and you sass?” Tony held a hand to his heart.

“You constantly build for charity for no charge,” Phil countered. “Now show Bucky.”

“Come on, let’s go to your room,” Tony said and Bucky lead everyone there. Tony opened the case which released smoke and played something from a John Williams score.

“I’m telling Pepper on you,” Bruce muttered.

Bucky found it kind of hilarious though. Tony turned the case around and Bucky stared.

Steve came over and put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder he stared down in the case. “Is this a joke?” Steve asked. “What the hell is that?”

“The most advanced prosthetic arm in existence that costs about -” Phil’s cough stopped Tony from saying what was an insane number.

“It. That doesn’t look -” Steve cut himself off.

“It doesn’t,” Bucky slowly smiled. “It looks like a fucking robot arm.”

“Actually, that isn’t far off the mark,” Tony said happily. He picked it up and some fabric. “Your arm sock, thing. Smart fabric, conduits to the arm, which has a stupid amount of tech in it. Here slap the condom on and let’s do this.” Tony made to yank the other arm off.

“Mister Stark!” the doctor yelled. “Treat my patient with care.” The doctor hurried over and helped Bucky take the other arm off. It took about 10 minutes to switch between the two.

“It’s kind of heavy,” Bucky said.

“Get stronger,” Tony waved a hand. “The thing is near indestructible, and I designed it to adapt as you get older. Give me your phone.” Bucky held it out and watched as Bruce took it and put it on the bed. Tony picked it up. “What is this?”

“My phone,” Bucky said.

Tony shook his head and banged it open, stole the SIM card and jacked it into a phone that had been in the case. “Latest Stark tech, model won’t be out for another three months.” Tony started hitting buttons. “Designed you an app, to help with the arm. Remind you when to oil it, monitors strain on your body, blah blah.” Tony put the phone down and then Bruce handed it to Bucky.

“Cool?” Bucky said.

“The coolest,” Tony said. “Now come on then, move it around.”

“How?” Bucky asked. “I mean, it looks a lot better than the other one but -”

“Lift your shoulder just a little,” Tony said.

Bucky gave the tiniest shrug and watched the prosthetic go up into a half raised position. He twitched his shoulder back a little and the arm went out to the side. Each tiny movement made the arm do something.

He barely noticed when that guy Phil put a hand on Tony’s shoulder and whispered, “you did good.”

Bucky, the doctor, and Tony were all working on adjusting Bucky to the arm, helping him make it work. He was exhausted pretty quickly but he was smiling. It was the most Steve had seen him smile since he had woken up.

“He’s so beautiful,” Peggy whispered coming up beside Steve. 

Steve didn’t think took her hand. “He looks like you.”

“No, he doesn’t,” she laughed a little, but kept her hand in his.

“I can think what I want,” Steve replied. “I thought an arm that blended tried to look human would make it easier, but that’s me not him. Stark got it right, that is perfect for Bucky.” Steve looked at Bucky with love and happiness written all over his face.

Peggy looked at Steve. “I did the right thing,” she said.

“You did, bringing us here, was...it made a difference,” Steve squeezed her hand.

“I meant -”

“I know what you meant,” Steve said. “And I never thought you didn’t.”

Peggy nodded and tried to let go, ready to leave them alone, to be the unit they were. 

Steve held her tight. “Stay,” he whispered. “This time stay.”

“For a little while,” she agreed. 

They watched Bucky talk to Bruce while Tony and the doctor discussed the arm. Phil had faded away at some point.

Bucky smiled at his dad and Peggy, didn’t notice their joined hands before he went back to talking to his new friend.


	8. Chapter 8

"Surely, it is too soon to leave," Peggy protested. She tried to stop Steve from packing, but he just kept putting the few things they had here in a gym bag. 

"Doc says we could have left three days ago, but someone downed the system so they couldn't fill our our charts properly for the physio therapy clinic they recommended in Brooklyn," Steve looked at her and tried not to smirk. "Any idea how that could have happened?"

"I am not a computer expert," Peggy straightened her shoulders and gave the glare that had junior agents scrambling.

"But Skye is and she can be bribed with twizzlers and bootleg anime," Steve countered. "I got her to go to our apartment and get all these clothes for us on the promise of a Yuri on Ice fanart drawing."

Peggy would admit nothing. "You are still healing, he is still healing. You were in a train accident, remember?"

"Yes, weeks and weeks ago, Peggy. We want to go home. We need our home," Steve said. He looked at her. She was tense. "You can come, you know."

"I'm sorry?" Peggy stopped fussing.

"You can come see the place, we can show you around our neighbourhood."

"I don't want to impose," she insisted.

"Yo, Bucky, want to show Peggy our place?" Steve shouted down the hall.

Bucky walks in with his bag ready to go, silver arm gleaming. "You can," he said as he tossed the bag to his dad. "Bruce is picking me up and we are going to some science museum and then they'll drop me at home."

"Bucky, isn't that too much?" Steve asked.

"Bruce and I figured that me going straight home, I'd freak out if I saw any of the guys. Going out in public to a place where no one I know will be there will help me," Bucky shrugged. "He talked a lot about exposure and psych books he's read in the last two weeks even though it is a field that doesn't interest him. But hey in a science museum a guy with a metal arm would be considered cool and not a freak. So yeah. That's cool, right?"

Steve pulled him in for a hug. "You aren't a freak. You are the bravest and strongest man I know."

"I'm 12," Bucky reminded his dad. "But yeah, you can take Carter to the place, I don't mind. Just don't touch my stuff."

"I won't," she promised.

"Skye sent a hazmat clean up team into your room after she went in, she was scared there was a dirty bomb in there," Steve said.

"It wasn't that bad."

"There was a pizza box Bucky, the mold started to flirt with her."

Peggy watched them bicker with a sad smile, they were such a complete pair. There was a knock on the door. "Hi," a shy voice called out.

Bucky grinned. "Hey doc," he said.

Bruce flushed. "Is that a nickname?"

"Yeah, don't you like them?" Bucky asked. "Me and my dad give them to people all the time. I'm not really Bucky, name is James. I hate it."

Peggy sighed, she loved the name James.

"I like it," Bruce said. "Ready to go? Happy is waiting downstairs to drive us. That's Tony's driver/friend/guy."

"Dad?" Bucky asked.

"Okay," Steve had to remember how independent Bucky had been getting before the accident. "Call if you need me."

"Sure," Bucky gave a wave and he and Bruce ran down the hall.

"Not his usual sort of friend, but he seems nice," Steve said into the silence.

"What's his usual sort of friend?" Peggy was curious.

"Mouthy, sports, like him," Steve laughed. "God the apartment smells of gym socks so often, ugh."

"Do you play any now?"

"I'll toss a ball with Bucky, but no, not being able to do it for so long, don't really see the appeal. I have a lot of great sketches of him running around though," Steve said. "I hope -"

"He'll find ways to play," Peggy said. "He's stubborn and determined like his father."

"He has a double dose of that," Steve sighed. "Going to make the next few years interesting." He shrugged and finished packing. "I'm betting you have a fancy ride waiting to drive us don't you?"

"Perhaps," she agreed. She took Bucky's bag and they headed out. 

Steve was relieved when it was a fairly nondescript SUV. They were quiet on the drive over and Peggy looked around when she got out. It was an older building but well maintained. 

"Rent controlled," he said. "Thank god, prices are getting crazy."

"It is nice, I have a flat, but nine times out of ten I just crash in the office sleep quarters," Peggy admitted. 

"That can't be healthy," Steve frowned. He opened the door for her and they walked up to the fourth floor. "Welcome," he said softly. 

Peggy walked in and just stared. "That's me," she said and pointed at a painting.

"You can't see the woman's face in it," Steve commented.

"That's my red hat and blue coat, they were my great aunt's from after the war. You saw me wear them once." Peggy went closer to the painting that was all greys except the coat and hat, pulled down low so you could barely see her face. It looked like a vision from a dream. "Steve," she said.

"If that painting offends you, you really don't want to google my art show," Steve took his bag to his room to give them both a moment. He braced himself on his bedframe for a moment because seeing her in their home had always been a dream of his. And she was so beautiful and strong and everything he remembered. 

And she would be gone again soon enough. He had to remember that. There was no holding tight to a woman like her.

Steve took a deep breath and went out to the living room. "Fridge will be empty, I can take you to our favourite place, they make great -" Steve couldn't finish the sentence because Peggy's tongue was in his mouth. It took him a second to realize that she was kissing him. He for a moment tried to remember when he had last kissed someone and his best guess was the kissing booth at the school three years ago. This was very different.

Steve tried to step back, away, but she was still there following him and god she smelled as good as she used to, and he hands went around her waist. He went back until he felt the couch and sat down. He pulled Peggy into his lap and cupped her face to move her away. "Peggy what are you doing?"

"Kissing you, you were always a good kisser," she said. She leaned forward and nipped at his neck before he pulled her away again.

"Peggy -" Steve brushed a hand over her hair. "Just tell me what this is."

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "You painted me. Why couldn't you forget me as anything but half of Bucky's DNA?" she asked. "Why? Just why?"

"You going to tell me there is a lady that compare to you out there? Show me her and I'll move on, but until then, you are lodged in my heart Peggy," he kissed her cheek. "But a quick fuck here on my couch and then you walk out isn't fair to me."

"It would be so good though," she said.

"I'm a little rusty," Steve replied.

"How rusty?" she asked.

"Uh, you were 8 months pregnant?"

She sat back in his lap in shock. "Steve, that's insane."

"I know, but I'm yours until the end, knew that the day we made our plans."

"I've had a lovers and countless fucks since then," Peggy said. She waited for him to say something horrible or mean.

"If you were happy then I am glad," Steve said.

She hit his arm half heartedly and climbed off his lap. "Don't be so good."

"Go on a date with me, Peggy. One date," Steve said. "You can't tell me we haven't worked to it the last few weeks."

Peggy nodded. "Okay, one date. But I need to go back to the office now." She leaned over and kissed him. "I won't make you promises, but...I...there are feelings here." She hurried away and Steve let her go.

*******************************

Bucky let himself into the apartment. The couple hours with Bruce had been good but he was relieved when he didn't see any of his friends. He had no idea what to say to them, how going back to school was going to feel.

His dad was whistling. He was a horrible whistler but that never stopped the guy.

"Why are you so happy?"

Steve smiled at him. "Just happy to be back home." He was in the kitchen cooking some pasta. "Museum good?"

"Yeah, Bruce talked a lot about stuff I didn't get at all, but he doesn't. He didn't know me before so he doesn't care that I'm different. Oh my god stop whistling, you suck," Bucky sat at the counter. "Really this happy to be home?"

"It is where my heart is," Steve stirred the sauce. "Food in 30."

"Sure," Bucky said. "Can you help with the arm, getting a little sore and need to take a break."

"Yeah," Steve answered. He threw a tea towel over his shoulder and went to help Bucky.

Bucky looked at the red mark on his dad's neck and felt his stomach drop.

He was pretty sure his dad was happy about something other than being home. And had lied to him about it. His dad never lied to him. He swallowed. "Not hungry, I'm going to go have a nap." He turned and walked away, ignoring his dad's calls.


	9. Chapter 9

"I need to see Tony Stark," Bucky said shaking.

The security man at the entrance of Stark Industries didn't look up from his computer. "Yeah, right."

"He made my arm, and I did something to it, and I need his help," Bucky said.

The man looked up at him ready to shoo him away and saw the metal prosthetic. "Go sit over there," he pointed. Bucky went over and undid his backpack and slid it off. His friends always made fun of him for using the clips but sorry, he liked not worrying about it falling off. Sue him. He was so mad at himself because he could have called Bruce and Bruce could have arranged this but no, he had to go and destroy the phone Stark gave him as well as bust up the arm. He didn't even know if Stark was in the city, the man was always travelling on the news. Shit, this was dumb. But he didn't know what else to do. He tried opening and closing the fingers of the new arm but three of them stopped working at all.

"Hello," a woman said. 

Bucky looked up and wow, pretty redhead. Like super pretty redhead. He could feel himself blushing a little. "Hi," he managed. "Are you here to kick me out? That doesn't look like a security uniform." She was in killer high heels and a pencil skirt (his dad had a thing for retro clothes on girls, somehow Bucky remembered things), and just, she looked so in charge.

"I could have you kicked out, but instead how about I take you to Tony, he's at the apartment." She stepped back and waited.

Bucky stood up. "You can just do that?"

"Well access to the "Amazing and Incredible Tony Stark" comes with the whole being married to him," she smiled and held out a hand. "I'm Pepper Potts-Stark."

"Bruce says your kisses heal wounds faster," he blurted out. He hung his head. "I don't know why I said that."

Pepper cupped his cheek. "Do you have wounds that need healing?"

He nodded just a little.

"Come on, Tony and I are pretty good at fixing things." She tucked her arm in his and took him to the elevator.

*****************************************

"Bucky," Steve said, relieved when there was a knock on his door. He yanked it open. "Oh," he said.

"We had a lunch date?" Peggy said. She grinned at him, "Our third. Fourth if you count that quick coffee." Her smiled faltered. "Steve?"

"Bucky and I had a fight today. He found out that we've been going on dates," Steve said. "I called a couple of his friends but they haven't seen him and..." Steve gestured and Peggy looked. There was a hole in the wall. 

"We'll track his cell," Peggy said calmly. "SHIELD knows how to monitor Stark phones in a second."

Steve held up a broken phone. "You mean this phone?"

"Maybe Stark has tracking built into the arm." Peggy started typing into her phone. "Skye will look into it." She looked at him. "While we wait, lunch?"

Steve stared at her. "I'm going to all his favourite places, seeing if he is there," he said slowly. "I'm not going for noodles while my son is missing. He's missing Peggy. After a fight."

"I know, and he won't go to his favourite places," she explained. "It's not logical."

"What does logic have to do with it?" he asked.

"Well if you had a fight, he wouldn't go to place you can expect him, that doesn't make sense. More likely he rides the underground to nowhere, or goes somewhere you wouldn't think of," she said. "Standard practice. I put a team on this and they'll find him quicker than you."

"He isn't standard practice, he's Bucky," Steve clenched his jaw. "And it is my fault that he is out there angry and hurting, so I am going to look for him."

"Alright then, we can confirm the target isn't at traditional haunts," Peggy said. She undid her jacket and didn't even think about it, just began checking all her weapons.

Steve watched in horror as she checked a gun, three knives, a taser, and a collapsible baton. "Is that it?" he asked.

"No, there is also a small emp device in my compact, a knockout drug in my perfume, and a flash grenade disguised as a lipstick," she looked at him. "Steve, do you not have any comprehension who I am? I am Peggy Carter, Agent of SHIELD."

He shook his head a little. "No. No I guess I don't know who you are after all. We should get the ball courts a couple blocks over."

They started to walk out of the building. "Why did you lie to him about us dating?" Peggy asked.

"Because if I didn't tell him, he wouldn't get his heartbroken when you walked away again." Steve wouldn't look at her. "Just...just help me find my son, Peggy."

"Of course," she said, voice flat, not betraying a thing.

***************************************

"Hey, Pepper, JARVIS said you were coming up, you looking for sex, or a robot, or a sex robot?" Tony said when the door to the lab opened. He turned around and saw Bucky looking miserable. "Oh god, we aren't getting another kid are we?"

"No, Tony, Bruce is all we need," Pepper smiled a little. "Bucky here, came to Stark Industries looking for you."

"Want a selfie with a genius, I can understand that," Tony grinned, trying to lighten the mood.

Bucky lifted the prosthetic with his other hand. "I got mad. I broke it." He stared at the floor. "I'm broken."

Tony looked at Pepper,  _call in the troops_ , he mouthed. Pepper nodded. He focused on the pre-teen. "I'm broken too," he said. He pulled up his shirt and showed his chest scars and the little glowing lump where his pacemaker was. "The trick is to keep going right?"

Bucky just shrugged. "Guess you want the arm back, give it to someone who deserves it."

"One of a kind, meant for one of a kind. I need it to fix, but how about you help me?"

"I'm not smart like Doc," Bucky protested.

"Can you manage to hand me a screwdriver?"

"Yeah, I've worked on cars a little, and am good with used ikea furniture."

Tony winced at the thought of used ikea furniture, that seemed like a cruel punishment from the gods. "Then you can help. Come here, Bucky," he said softly. 

Bucky slowly approached the bench and sat on the lab stool. He put his bag down and couldn't go on. He was surprised that Tony wasn't pushing, he seemed the sort to want everything now, when he wanted it. But they just sat in silence. Bucky took a few deep breaths and pulled off his shirt. "I need help getting it off."

"Okay," Tony said calmly. "Do you want me to call Bruce, or someone from Shield, like Mike Peterson or Skye? Or what about your dad?"

"No," Bucky said quickly. "Not my Dad or Carter." He sneered, "they are probably on a date anyways. Not like they are even missing me."

Tony wasn't going near that. "What about Bruce, should we call him?"

Bucky rolled his eyes, adults were so stupid sometimes. "Like Pepper hasn't already done that."

"Okay fair point, but he's in school in a different city, so while I have no doubt he will be hauling ass, it will take at least an hour."

"Bruce trusts you, more than anyone except Clint," Bucky paused. "Is Clint like an imaginary friend or a psychotic break? I don't mind, but the way he talks about him is weird."

Tony laughed at that. He tapped on his phone and on the wall a picture appeared. It was Bruce in an lab coat, with an apple on his head. Another boy was aiming at the apple with a bow. "It was an experiment."

"What were they trying to prove?"

"How quickly you can give parents a heart attack," Tony said dryly. "But Clint is very real."

"Huh," Bucky shrugged. "Who woulda thought?" He watched Tony scroll through more photos, some of the people Bucky recognized from Shield, some he didn't. There was a redheaded girl in one standing on Bruce's shoulders, clearly getting ready to jump on. "She's fearless."

"She is," Tony agreed.

"I used to be, then all this," Bucky said. He looked at Tony. "You ever have your world reshaped?"

Tony tapped the pacemaker, "I didn't get this because my heart naturally sucked. It's what happens when terrorists hook you up to a car battery to see how you dance."

"That's fucked up," Bucky said.

"Completely."

"Was it better or worse after?"

"Just different," Tony said. He then shook his head. "No, for me, it was better. Because it changed me, and made me realize what mattered."

"What mattered then?" Bucky asked.

Tony looked down and pulled up the schematics for the arm. "Pepper. Helping people. Not making guns. Pepper."

"She's kind of hot."

Tony hit Bucky up the head. "Don't say that about the best you'll ever meet," he ordered. But he couldn't help but add, "the legs, they go forever. And are super bendy."

Bucky laughed. "Okay." He sighed a little and then nodded. "Okay. Let's get this fixed. You did shitty work if one punch from a kid like me could wreck the digits."

Tony frowned at him. "Another kid full of sass in my life. What did I do to deserve this?"

"Probably a lot," Bucky suggested.

Tony hummed an agreement and reached out and carefully removed the arm. Neither had realized how long it took to get to that point but it must have been a while, because Bruce came running into the lab. "Bucky are you okay?"

"Not really," Bucky admitted. "And when I ran away, I wanted to call you but I busted my phone."

"Tony has a million," Bruce said.

"I have 38 spares in the place, not a million," Tony muttered as he moved the fingers of the arm back and forth.

"Okay, step one, when the parents come - you weren't running away you were running to," a voice said from behind Bruce.

Bruce looked at Bucky in apology. "When I ran, he saw and sort of hopped on the moving car? It was easier to bring him." He stepped to the side. "Bucky, Clint. Clint, Bucky."

Tony grinned. "Bucky thought you were an imaginary friend of Bruce's, Clint."

"Thanks for sharing that," Bucky grumbled. He looked at the other boy. He was in black jeans and a torn purple shirt and his hair stood straight up. "Did you actually shoot an apple off of Bruce's head?"

"Sure like a dozen times," Clint smiled.

Tony glared at them. "I thought all the adults said no to that."

Bruce blushed a little. "Technically you said no apple on the head. So we put a piece of paper in between to not break the rules."

"See," Clint looked at Bucky. "You have to think of the rules, and what ever happened and then just sort of...worm your way around it all. You didn't run away, you ran to Tony, to fix your arm. That's being responsible."

"I -" Bucky thought about it, "That's actually not bad."

"Tashie's better at this sort of stuff, but she was at the other end of the building so you just get me." Clint hopped up on the table and looked at the arm. "So that's cool. Did you cut off your real one to get this?"

"I was in that train accident a few month ago," Bucky wondered if he should be offended or not.

"Oh. That sucks. I once rode my bike into a car on accident. Five stitches," Clint handed Tony a screwdriver.

"I...got more than five stitches," was what Bucky managed to say.

"I can have him leave," Bruce moved closer to Bucky. "He just doesn't have a lot of filters."

Bucky shook his head. He watched Clint. "You are marrying him?" he asked Bruce.

Bruce shrugged and nodded, but Clint was the one to answer. "Yup. Right now I'm figuring after Bruce gets his phd and I've won a few olympic medals. The cake is going to have the periodic table on it. You can eat silver if you come. Bruce will need a few groomsmen," Clint looked up and smiled at Bucky. "By then you'll have been old enough to tattoo your stump."

"What?" Everyone in the room said.

"Well I mean, wouldn't it look cool if you tattoo'd it?" Clint frowned. "Like with gears all steampunky to go with the arm Uncle Tony made."

Bucky for the moment forgot all his pain, his dad, how much he hated how the arm looked. This was too interesting. He saw a sharpie and grabbed it. "Show me," he ordered.

Clint began to look for paper.

Bucky shook his head. "No. Show me."

Clint grinned and moved closer. "Woot, living art. Tell me if it hurts or tickles." He began to draw on Bucky's stump and shoulder.

"That's permanent," Tony said. "I'm getting in trouble."

"They're busy, let's fix the arm," Bruce suggested. He smiled a bit though. It was neat to think he now had a groomsman for someday in the future.

*********************************************

Peggy's phone rang as they were at their third stop. She answered and spoke briefly before hanging up. "That was Director Coulson. Bucky went to find Tony Stark, because he broke the arm. He is at Stark Tower right now."

"I don't like that Stark fellow, let's go get Bucky quickly."

"Underground is two blocks west, correct?" Peggy started moving.

"Yeah, how did you know that?"

"When I arrived, I memorized the underground routes, handy to know in case of emergency."

"People who have been riding their whole lives don't have the whole grid memorized," Steve stared at her.

"I have a head for maps, I enjoy them," Peggy said.

"I didn't know that," Steve said. "You got lost in Harrod's once."

"That is why I learned," Peggy's stride was strong and people moved out of her way, even more than they did for Steve. All he could do was trail behind in her wake. They went down the steps and a guy tried to jump Peggy. She didn't think, just put him in the wall hard, knocking him out. She had a knife at his throat in one blink.

"Peggy," Steve put a hand on her. "Just a mugging," he said.

Peggy nodded and the knife disappeared and she kept walking.

"We should call the cops," Steve said, looking back at the still man, even as he followed her.

"Tile over concrete, hit the wall flat out with a force of..." she trailed off. "He'll wake up in 20 minutes, 40 if there is anything in his system. Concussion likelihood 30%, he can be ignored." She put money in and went through the turnstile. Steve fumbled for his pass and they stood there waiting for the subway.

"I've seen you throw a punch, but never seen that. It was cold Peggy. You always had fire when you fought," Steve stared straight ahead.

"Fight with fire, and you'll be burned alive. A cool and logical head is required in battle," Peggy said, also looking forward. "Victoria Hand taught me that." She clenched the fist he couldn't see. "Would you like to know how many people I've killed? Bucky knows the rough number."

Steve shook his head quickly.

They got on the subway and sat one seat apart. They switched lines and eventually emerged near Stark Towers. They walked and Steve held open the door for her. The man at security told them what elevator to take, prepared for their arrival.

"Isn't this a kick in the arse?" Peggy said in the heavy atmosphere of the elevator. 

"What do you mean?"

"I start to fall in love with you all over again," Peggy looked at him and smiled. Steve's heart cracked at how sad it was. "And then you finally see who I am now, and fall out of love in an instant."

Steve stared at her in shock. "I'm not -" The doors opened before they could finish and Pepper Potts and Director Coulson were there. "Bucky is shook up but Bruce and Clint are fixing him, while Tony is fixing his arm. I'll take you to them." Pepper smiled kindly. 

Steve got off the elevator and waited for Peggy to step out. She stayed put and Director Coulson entered. Steve watched as she never took her eyes off of him as the door closed. Pepper touched his arm and he followed her to his son, not even noticing his own painting on the wall.

Phil took a chance and wrapped an arm over Peggy's shoulder. "Hey," he said.

Peggy laughed a little. "Hello, Director, thank you for your help in locating Bucky."

"Going back to England aren't you?"

"I am," she agreed.

"Is it running away?" he asked softly.

"I don't know," she admitted. "But sometimes a strategic retreat, is the most viable option."

"In battle, not for the heart."

"Is there a difference?" she asked.

Phil gave her another hug. "Come on, we'll get you to the office and on the mats with Bobbi. I'll call Nick and we'll get moving on your promotion paperwork."

"Thank you," she said. "Just so you know, Shield...it is the love of my life." She hoped the man understood what she meant.

"Yeah, I'm pretty fond of it too," Phil agreed. "Come on, punching something might help clear your mind."

"That would be lovely," she said. "I'm tired of being confused."

Phil held the car door open for her and they drove away, and Peggy didn't look back to Stark Tower. It wasn't her place to.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up virtually right after the end of the chapter

Steve opened his mouth and realized he had no idea what to say to Bucky. They were in the back of a limo being driven home, after Tony Stark had fixed Bucky's arm. He and the two kids kept glaring and him, and Bucky wouldn't meet his eye. It was all so out of place. And he knew he and Peggy were done. She'd be gone soon. He was sure of it. Off to save the world. He was starting to realize what that actually meant.

"Bucky," Steve said.

"No," Bucky shook his head. "I'm not talking to you yet." He stared out the window and they finished the drive in silence. Bucky went straight to his room and Steve just sort of stood in the living room. He couldn't figure out what to do. He went to the kitchen, he should make them food, cooking was a good thing to focus on. But after the third time he burned the onion he gave up and ordered some pizza. He sat down in his chair and opened his sketch book. He started with just lines and curves, not trying to make anything, but letting his hand move. Soon enough he turned the page and began to draw Bucky. It was in profile, and slowly his new prosthetic arm began to appear. Each stylized line of the metal drawn in. He worked his way down. He started to draw the hand clenched as it had been before the fight, during the fight, but he erased it and drew the hand relaxed. He made all the detail in the arm and left the rest of Bucky hazy.

Steve didn't hear Bucky answer the door, so intent on his sketch. He only looked up when he felt eyes on him. Bucky was holding two plates and staring down at the sketch.

"Hey, Dad?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah?" Steve put his sketch book down.

"You are a fucking idiot." He handed Steve a plate and sat on the ground.

"Don't swear," Steve said automatically. He ate a bite and put it down, not hungry.

Bucky ate four slices fast before he looked at Steve again. "Do you know why I was so mad?"

"Because you found out I was dating your mother." Steve nodded a little. "And Bucky -"

"Jesus, Dad, that wasn't it at all," Bucky looked at him. "I don't care that you were dating her. I care that you lied to me. You never lie to me. Ever. Like never ever." Bucky looked at him. "You...why didn't you tell me?"

"What I am supposed to have you watch my heart get broke?" Steve felt helpless. "She was always going to leave again, and I was just hoping," he was lost. "I guess I wanted a few new memories." He shook his head. "She's not who I remember."

"Shocking that a woman you haven't spoken to in 12 years changed," Bucky muttered. He began to tear apart a paper towel.

"Bucky?" Steve looked at him. "Go on, say what you want."

Bucky shook his head. "Nothing to say Dad."

"Yes, you do. Are you defending her?" Steve was shocked.

"No, she pisses me off," Bucky looked at the whole in the wall. That he had made. "But she deserves better than your altar. I do too," Bucky said.

Steve felt his jaw drop. "What?"

"She's not your manic pixie dream girl. You aren't like in this shitty indie movie where the guy is in glasses and like obsessed with the girl and goes on an emotional journey," Bucky blurted out. "Dad, she's a person. Not like this statue, this whatever she is in your head. She wasn't perfect then and she isn't now. And that sketch is the first time it feels like you've seen my arm. That you hate it, because it looks fake. That you wished it looked real, so I wasn't changed. You hate it because I'm not the same."

"I hate it because I didn't keep you safe!" Steve shouted, standing up. "I hate it because it reminds me that all this, it didn't save you when it mattered!" Steve pointed at his body. "That all this, that it wasn't enough. That I wasn't enough. I wasn't enough for you in that moment, and I wasn't enough for you when you were little and I was sick and couldn't take you to little league, and I wasn't enough for her. I am never enough."

"Dad, a train went off it's tracks and our car rolled. Most of the people in our car died. You almost died. You saved me," Bucky looked at him. "You've always saved me. I...Dad you are enough. Til the end of the line right?"

"She kills people," Steve said, lost. "She, do you know how many weapons she carries on her?"

"Yeah, I got a good idea at that demo I saw," Bucky said.

"I didn't go, because I knew. I knew it wouldn't be my Peggy and it would...it would do something." Steve sat back down, on the couch instead of his chair. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

"Dad, she was badass when you were with her? That's in the stories you would tell."

"She was," Steve agreed. He stayed very still when he felt the metal hand on top of his.

"Why is it so surprising that skill grew, just like your art, just like me?"

"Because," Steve said. He had nothing else to add. He moved his fingers and gripped the cold hand tight. "I'm sorry, Bucky."

"Thanks, Dad." Bucky was quiet. "We aren't okay are we?"

"I'll call the therapist the Shield doctor recommended on Monday," Steve said softly. "Think we both need to talk some things out."

Bucky nodded. "Don't lie to me, okay?"

"Promise. Don't run away again."

"I wasn't running away, I was running to," Bucky said with a smile. "I was informed that was the best line to use."

"It's pretty solid. You are still grounded though. No online gaming for a week."

"Can we camp out here in the living room, like we used to?"

"Sure," Steve said.

"You going to call her?"

"I don't know," Steve admitted.

Bucky didn't say anything else.

***********************************************

Two days later Bucky was trying to figure out if he could dribble a basketball with the new hand. He had destroyed two balls so far. The hand was pretty strong. He kind of loved it. He had seen the guys around but they were mostly avoiding him. It sucked, but he had Bruce, and he and his dad were properly talking about the accident and everything in the hospital and it was maybe going to be okay. His phone buzzed in his pocket an he saw he had a text.

He frowned when he read it:

_Incoming data, half heard, sorry I'm still a bad spy._

Okay...

_Shit I wish Clint was here, he'd be able to find out more in the vents._

He wondered if he was being pulled into some sort of role play game. Dungeons and Dragons wasn't his sort of thing, but made sense that Doc would be into it. He was about to type something in when the message came in.

_Phil's trying to stop Peggy from leaving. Failed. She is on a flight in 8 hours._

_Shit I think they saw me._

Bucky put his phone in his pocket and ran home. Steve was making jam. So weird that his dad made jam, but it reminded him of Grandma. But he wouldn't let himself be distracted. "Hey, Dad? Any word from Carter?"

"No," Steve shrugged and his posture slumped a little. "I wrote her a letter, hoping maybe that will get her attention."

"Dad, texts, emails."

"A letter shows you mean it," Steve said. "A letter you had to go out of your way, that shows they matter."

"Bruce is working on something. Asked for my help, can I go see him?"

"Sure. You need a lift?"

"Dad, I can take the subway," Bucky said. "Right?"

"Right. Be home by 7 though, okay?"

Bucky nodded. He went to his room and grabbed his backpack. He needed to make it look like he was meeting to do homework, or talk about girls or video games. He threw some random stuff in and went back out. His dad handed him twenty bucks just in case and Bucky left. Once he was a block from the house he ran to the subway and he fumed and grew angrier the whole way to Shield Headquarters. By the time he got there, he wasn't sure that he had ever been this mad before.

He walked up to the front desk. "Bucky Rogers. I need to see Peggy Carter. Now," he knew he sounded wrong, the words were all bitten off. He dug into his bag and found his old medical badge that no one had taken back. "I have this to prove I can be around."

The guard waved him through. Bucky stood in front of the elevators and wondered where to go. He figured starting maybe at the gym would be a good idea. She wasn't there, Bobbi and Mike were sparring together and he was tempted to watch, but he had a goal. He went to the cafeteria and no luck there and just sort of started wandering.

"You know, you really stand out, in my security sweeps kids, little short for an agent," Skye said not looking up from her phone when Bucky ran into her by the elevator.

"I need to see Carter."

"She's in an exit meeting with DC, not sure I can let you interrupt that," Skye said. 

"You don't understand," Bucky said. 

"Try me," Skye looked at him. "Go on, try me."

"I knew her through three photos, and romantic fairy tale stories, and my dad's paintings. She wasn't real. She was just my incubator. I always said she didn't matter to me. And then she showed up and became real. You get how shitty and fucked up that is?" Bucky gripped the straps of his backpack. "That's really fucked up."

"Yeah, I can understand that," she said. She hit the up button. They got in the elevator and she keyed in for the executive level. "I don't even know my parent's names. I don't even know my name. Mary Sue was what they called me at the orphanage. Skye is what I called me. I ever meet my parents...well I don't know what I'll do." 

"Why do adults mess up so much?" he asked.

"Hell if I know, kids are rough, I guess." Skye lead him down the hall after the doors opened. She knocked at the end of the hall and opened without waiting.

"Skye, an important meeting, can it wait?" Phil asked. He and Peggy looked over.

"Nope," she said and she pushed Bucky in. She stayed in the background just in case she was needed.

"Bucky," Peggy said. "Is there a problem, did something happen to Steve?"

"You are leaving," Bucky said.

"I -" Peggy nodded. "Yes, I am. I have a rather important promotion, and I am anxious to be in London again. And you two are all better, now."

"No we're not, we're messed up. You need to stay," Bucky said.

"Bucky," she smiled at him sympathetically. "I'm sorry, darling, but your father and I, I don't know that we belong together. It is better i leave."

Bucky could feel his hand shaking and he saw red, an actual red haze snuck in the corner of his vision. "Oh my god, you fucking cow, Carter!" he screamed. "Maybe this isn't about you and my dad!"

"I'm sorry?" Peggy stared at him stunned.

"You stupid bint, why, just why is it always about you two and your relationship, or your job, or his changes and memories and blah blah blah, all that bullshit!" Bucky caged, a trapped animal. Skye moved closer.

"I'm sorry he lied to you, but really we -" Peggy put on her most soothing voice.

"IT ISN'T ABOUT HIM. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND HIM. I CARE THAT YOU GAVE ME YOU AND JUST WHEN I AM GETTING TO KNOW YOU, YOU RUN YOU YOU YOU NUMPTY! WHY CAN'T THIS BE ABOUT ME???" Bucky's voice echoed in the office. "Why can't it be about me wanting to get to know you? But know why would a guy who finally meets his mother and finds out she is cool and interesting and badass, why would a kid want to know her, and not just fairy tale stories about his parents falling in love and making hard choices?" Bucky stared at her. "Why does running away from him, mean running away from me?"

Peggy's eyes swam but she didn't say anything.

"You coward," Bucky hissed at her. "You complete and utter coward, because you didn't once think about what you leaving without saying goodbye might mean to me. You were too busy protecting your own heart, and didn't give a damn about mine. But that's cool, that's the status quo right? Not like maybe things changed? You and Dad are the goddamn same, not wanting anything to change if it affects who you might be. Idiots. I could have liked you, but I won't like this you." Bucky ran out of words. He felt his shoulders slumped. "I get why I didn't matter before, guess it was silly to think I mattered now."

"I told you, you mattered," Peggy said, fierce. She stood and looked at him. "You matter, James."

"I hate that name," Bucky wiped away a tear and hoped they didn't see it.

"I hate this city," Peggy admitted. "I really hate New York. And I miss my office and my job. And I didn't think you would miss me."

"That's the point, isn't Bucky?" Skye interjected. "You want the chance to know if you would miss her."

Bucky nodded.

Phil looked at them. "There is this amazing thing called the internet, it sends emails and has video calls. People who are separated by the ocean can still get to know each other, if they want to. If they are brave enough to try," Phil gave Peggy a look. "Agent Carter, is all your bravery in the field?"

"No, sir, it isn't," she said. She looked at her son. "You are my son, Bucky."

"I am," he agreed.

"I know your school and medical records and don't even know what your favourite ice cream flavour is."

"I like butterscotch ripple," he said.

Peggy smiled. "I hate it."

"You maybe want my email? Or you know, I play Overwatch? We could maybe team up?" Bucky asked, his voice cracked a bit.

"I work very well with a strike team," she said.

Phil pulled out a pen and paper. "To exchange information," he tried not to be elated that Peggy was actually reaching out to something outside Shield. He adored his job, but a security firm should never be the love of anyone's life, not when there were so many options out there. He watched Bucky shakily write some stuff down. "Skye, can you take him home, Agent Carter and I do need to finish."

"Sure, DC," Skye smiled at him, remembering why she had stopped searching for her birth parents.

Bucky looked at her. "You still suck for wanting to leave without any goodbyes."

"I'm not used to having anyone to say goodbye to," Peggy said.

"Practice," Bucky said.

"Goodbye, Bucky. We'll talk soon," she promised.

"Bye," Bucky said and let Skye lead him out.

"Still leaving?" Phil asked.

Peggy nodded and made sure he didn't see her swimming eyes.

"Want us to have an office for your use here? Just in case?"

Peggy gave another small nod and went to pack her bag. She went down to security and had them print off a few still frames of Bucky stalking the halls from earlier and carefully put them in her carry on.


	11. Chapter 11

**3 Months Later**

"I'm sorry, but who taught you to shoot, a one eyed, one armed, dickless wonder whose hand shakes when there isn't 5 pints of moonshine in his system? Use your goddamn laser sight that I sent to your email," she snarled.

"Look, you cow, not all of have had the time to rack the hours and upgrades you have, some of us have homework. And I'm a bloody medic usually, why am I sniping up here?" he yelled back.

"Oh homework, really?" she snarked through the mic and stealthed her character and had three dead in 15 seconds. "How did that book report go then?"

"Fuck off, I got a B. Lord of the Flies sucks balls," he managed to actually shoot someone. "Yes!" And promptly was killed. "Son of a bitch, Carter!!!!"

"I'm on it," she said.

"Jesus, you can't just unleash her on us, like she's your trained pit bull, have mercy," a guy called out. "I'm sorry!"

"Nope, man, I unleashed the Kraken and now am going to sit back and laugh," Bucky did his most evil laugh possible.

Peggy was soon the only character left standing, having even killed their teammates. "Sorry, boys, I have to go save the world at 0700, see you next time," Peggy disconnected.

The guys all laughed about that, figuring she was a teacher or something trying to keep up with what the kids like. Bucky played a little more and decided to see what his dad was cooking for dinner. He walked down the hall and found his dad sketching, no food in sight. "Dad? Dinner?"

"Hmmm?" Steve looked up, eyes dazed. "Dinner?"

"The meal you said you were going to start at 5:30?" Bucky looked at the clock. It was 6. There wasn't even a pan out. "What are you working on? Not lesson plans," he said.

"No. I might have an idea for my next show," Steve admitted.

Bucky sighed internally. "Oh? More Carter?" His dad was so brilliant and his woman of mystery paintings sold so well, but...he just didn't want his dad to do that.

But Steve shook his head. He looked down at the book and handed it to Bucky. "In therapy, I was talking to the doctor about your arm, and how long it took me to see how awesome the metal design was," he said. "And I thought, well...fuck Bucky, do you know how great you look?"

Bucky blinked. "Huh?" He looked down at his torn and stained sweats. His hair was getting too long, and he may have been staying up way too late playing online games with his mom. "I look like crap."

"Well yes that t-shirt is disgusting," Steve agreed. "But...you just...you look good and not in spite of the arm, or because of it. But just because you are you and the arm is a part of that. So...just look."

Bucky began to flip through the book, and it was a lot of sketches of him, some with the arm central focus, some where you only noticed it if you looked closely. And then there were others. Other kids and teens with prosthetic limbs, or walkers, or wheelchairs.

"Dad," Bucky said.

"At the hospital after my session, I went down to the PT area, your shoulder was sore and wanted to find out what I could do to help. And there was a kid, with a prosthetic leg, boring like your first arm and she was struggling to put it on. She was wearing a sweater with grumpy cat on it. I went over and asked if it would be okay if I drew grumpy cat on the leg for her. And she said yes." Steve showed Bucky the sketch. "And I dunno, it all just sort of snowballed. So I sketch people and then help them decorate their stuff."

"That's why you've been gone on Saturday mornings? Figured you were just running or something," Bucky said.

"I wasn't trying to lie to you," Steve said quickly. "It was just something for me." He flushed a little. "But then it turns out Pepper Potts-Stark is on the hosptial's board or was donating equipment or god knows what they do, and saw me painting a wheelchair, walked in and said come along, and that woman says come along -"

"Yeah, I'd stand at attention and salute," Bucky muttered.

Steve just gave him a look. Bucky tried for an innocent whistle.

"And maybe she threw me at Stark and I'm sort of now the creative person for the child and teen prosthetics he is designing?" 

"Dad, are you making fake body parts look cool for kids?"

Steve shrugged a little. "Yeah?"

Bucky threw himself at his dad. "That is so awesome." He hugged Steve tight.

"Anyways, Pepper is arranging a charity show, to launch this new Stark venture. And she wants me to do a few paintings of kids with the new limbs, and did a big donation of prototypes to the hospital. Proceeds all will purchase the stuff for low income families."

"Dad, this is really cool. I'm like super proud of you," Bucky said. "So proud, I'll let you treat us to wor wonton soup at Chan's."

"Gee, wow, thanks," Steve said dryly. "I'm proud of you too, you know."

"I know," Bucky looked at him. "Dad, I haven't been lying lying, but maybe I didn't tell you something that mattered."

Steve looked at Bucky. "Is this about your grandmother's vase?"

"No, I maintain to this day that her ghost did that," he said. "No," Bucky took a breath. "I've been playing a lot of online games."

"This is very shocking indeed," Steve agreed.

"Shut up, it's about who I've been playing with," Bucky shrugged and his arm flailed out. He had made huge progress with it. But sometimes he still lost a bit of control.

"Oh you mean your mother," Steve smiled as Bucky's face dropped in shock. "You get really loud at 1am when killing things. And after the 8th time hearing, 'for fuck's sake Carter, you kill people all the time why can't you reload your gun any faster?' I sort of put the pieces together."

"Are you mad?" Bucky asked.

"No," Steve answered. "She's your mother. And just because things didn't work out for her and I, it doesn't mean that I'm not thrilled you two have decided to get to know each other a bit. If you wanted to even go visit her, I am sure something could be arranged."

"I don't know," Bucky shrugged. "We don't talk much personally. Like we don't Skype, and only a few emails. Mostly we shout at each other in games."

"Seems like a good start," Steve hugged Bucky. "Let me go get my wallet so you can treat me to soup."

That night when Steve went to bed there was a scrap of paper on his table in Bucky's horrid writing.

 _In case you wanted a good start too_. And there was Peggy's email.

She had never responded to the letter he sent and he took that as a hint. But it was just as likely she never got it before she left. 

Maybe one try wouldn't hurt.

It took almost two weeks for him to get his courage up and then he finally sent a message.

_Hello Peggy,_

_Did you know we have a pretty swell kid?_

_You didn't scare me. Well you did, but that is on me and not you._

_I...wanted you to be the same and that was wrong._

_I'm sorry._

_But. Maybe._

_Maybe you could tell me what your favourite movie is?_

_Steve_

Steve buried himself in his teaching and prepping for the art show, and stopping Stark from putting actual gold flake into the paint being used on the artificial limbs. So he didn't notice that he had a response back until three days after it came.

_Steve,_

_I tell everyone it is Atonement_.

 _It is Robin Hood Men in Tights_.

_I'm sorry I ran. I don't know how to be with people that aren't wearing at least 6 weapons._

_Peggy._

Steve smiled slowly.

_Well you haven't seen what I can do with a garbage can lid. That rat was definitely armed._

They were really short emails they exchanged, just small messages but Steve learned more about Peggy in those than he ever had in the three dates they had had while she was in New York. But there is one thing he had to know. He asked Pepper for a favour, and was confused at how easily she agreed and he found himself sitting in a meeting with Phil Coulson.

"Hello Steve," he said genially. "Get it all sorted out?"

"Getting there. We were idiots," Steve rubbed his neck a little.

"Hmmm," was all Phil said. "Are you here to ask me to transfer her to New York?"

"God no, she hates it here," Steve said. "I know that, and I'd be a straight up loser to go around her like that."

Phil's smile grew kinder. "So why are you here then?"

"I -" Steve took a breath. "Can I see what Bucky saw, that demo of hers? You must have it recorded."

"We do," Phil looked at him. "Why?"

"Because I'm starting to see who she is and I want to see all of it."

"Even if you hate it?"

Steve nodded. "Even if I hate it."

Phil typed a little bit and pointed to the wall where a tv emerged. Steve watched in a mix of horror and awe. "She's a superhero," he said.

"As close as we get," Phil agreed. He couldn't help but preen a little though. "My wife, a woman of an age that I am not allowed to publicly release, who is a librarian, got her on the mats though."

Steve smirked at him a little. "Like that type of woman do you?"

Phil shrugged. "My first wife once beat up a mugger with her cello bow, no fighting skills whatsoever and just boom started whacking him in the face with it. So I guess maybe I have a thing for woman of strength. Not a bad thing to have."

Steve looked at the paused video. "Jesus, how do I even have a chance with a gal like that?"

"My best guess, is that you would ask her for a chance," Phil suggested.

"I can't ask her to give up London for me though, and I can't give up my life here," Steve looked like a kicked puppy.

Phil groaned a little at how dense all these people were. "Or, you realize that Shield has access to private planes and there is summer vacation and Christmas holidays and online relationships for the in between," he said. "Jesus you don't have to be together to be together these days."

"Huh," Steve said dumbly.

"Save me from young love," Phil muttered.

"We're in our thirties," Steve protested.

"And have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. You both in the heart department as stunted at 22," he said.

Steve thought about it, "was that a Buffy reference?"

"Skye quotes it a lot," Phil waved that away. "Think about what you want and see if there are ways to get there."

"I have the show with Stark next week, but maybe after that, I'll do some thinking," Steve said after a minute. "You are a stand up guy."

"And you are hot as hell," Phil blurted out. "Crap," he groaned. "Now I need to call Melinda and tell her I said that so she can laugh at me."

Steve tried not to laugh at that. "You know my school puts out a calendar every year to raise money for art supplies. I somehow end up fairly naked in them. Just saying," Steve grinned at him and wiggled his eyebrows.

Phil blushed a little. "I don't even like guys. Stupid looking like Captain America," he muttered. "Put Shield down for 20 copies, I'll foist them off on people."

"I like you, Phil," Steve stood and held out his hand.

Phil shook it. "See you at your show."

Steve nodded and saw himself out.

******************************************

Steve hated being at his shows, even one that was a good cause like this. But Bucky had surprised him by having a suit on. He was growing up so damn fast. And Pepper had this look in his eye, this glee as she strong armed people into donating and buying painting, that suggested it was going well. He also met Phil's wife and she was kind of scary, but in a good way. It was all going well. He thought. He could never tell.

"You look like you need a drink," a man said. 

"I need about five," Steve agreed and smiled. "Hi i'm -"

"The artist," the man answered. "I'm Sam Wilson. I work for the V.A. I've been talking to Stark about this stuff. We get a lot of young guys and women who could use something similar but skewing a little older. He said to talk to you, maybe we could figure something out for his next big production line."

Steve nodded. "That's sounds good," he looked around for something to write with. He never had a pen, or pencil around when he needed one.

"Here, use mine," a smooth British voice said. Steve turned his head.

Oh, she was wearing the red hat.

And she was there.

"Peggy," Steve breathed out.

Sam looked between the two. "Yeah, I'll go get your info from someone else. Don't think you even remember your own name right now." He walked away.

Steve just stared at Peggy. Scared if he spoke or moved that maybe she would disappear.

Peggy smiled at him, doing her best to hide her nerves. "I was told that running to, is much better than running away," she said.

"I've heard that," Steve agreed. He held out a hand. "Hello, I'm Steve Rogers, I teach art and occasionally people buy my paintings. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"I'm Peggy Carter, Director of Operations for the London office of Shield, a private security firm. The pleasure is all mine," she replied and shook his hand.

Steve didn't let go.

She didn't mind.

"Peggy, I know this seems all of a sudden, but would you perhaps consider going on a date with me?"

"It is rather sudden," she agreed with a hint of a smile.

"Oh my god, you are killing me," Bucky groaned. "Weirdest flirting ever. And it's my parents. Ugh."

"Actually. Tony and Pepper are weirder," Bruce offered beside him. "Tony builds her robots that set stuff accidentally on fire and then she cuts off his access to his lab and then they make out. That's a weirder mating ritual. Oh and Melinda and Phil flirt by her knocking him on his ass. That's weird too."

"Thank you boys, go eat some more cake," Steve said not even looking at them. He still hadn't let go of Peggy.

They wandered off.

"A date would be lovely, Steve," Peggy said.

Steve pulled her in slowly and hugged her, careful not to squish the vintage hat. He squeezed tightly.

She squeezed right back.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading these idiots get their shit together

"I need a townhouse," Peggy said.

Victoria and Nick looked up at her. "Carter," Nick said with a glower. "We were in a meeting."

"You have a mini putt out, and your arms around her 'teaching' her proper form," Peggy said. "Now I need a townhouse."

"Why?" Victoria pushed away from Nick who put away the putter and tiny green field.

"Because my flat is a one bedroom hovel and Steve and Bucky will be here in two weeks," she said. "I sort of got wrapped up in that situation in Russia and forgot I can't fit my boyfriend and son into my place without stacking them like cord wood."

"And you think Shield just has random properties spread around London that you can just claim? Do you know the freaking price of places around here?" Nick asked. He crossed his arms and glared. "And you are a better planner than this."

"Not in my person life, sir," Peggy stared him in the eye. "I suck at that. Though I am getting better."

"Give her your place, Fury," Victoria said.

"What the hell, Vic?" Fury turned to her in astonishment.

"You are retiring in less than a year, and moving back to some American suburb to play golf."

"I'm coming to visit you," he replied.

Victoria gave him a small smile at that. "And you'll stay at my place when you do. So you ship your shoe collection to the States and move in with me early."

"We'll probably kill each other," he warned.

Her smile sharpened. "Well that will make waking up more interesting won't it?"

"Ugh, gross, this is like seeing parent sex," Peggy said.

"Imagine how Bucky will feel," Fury said. "The master bedroom has floors that squeak. Just a head's up." He looked at the women. "Fine, I'm stealing some probies to pack my shit." He stormed out of the room.

Victoria looked at Peggy, "Go on, ask," she said when the silence got heavy.

"Which of you is in charge in bed?" Peggy blurted out. "Oh god, I don't know if I want the answer."

Victoria grinned. "All depends who gets the drop on the other first."

Peggy stared at her. "Was that mission in the Sudan you two did...was that foreplay?"

"Do you need help shopping for appropriate items for an almost 13 year old's room? According to our files that will happen while he is here correct?"

"Yes, I do know when my son's birthday is," Peggy said. "He likes video games."

"Oh look, Fury's wallet with his unlimited company card, let's get you set up," Victoria said.

"Thank you," Peggy replied.

"Shield looks after its own. And I am very fond of you, Peggy," Victoria wasn't a hugger but she squeezed Peggy's shoulder.

*************************************

Peggy stood at Heathrow. Steve had insisted they didn't need a private plane, they could fly like anyone else. She had in turn insisted on paying for business class for them because she could not picture them in coach, not with Steve's shoulders.

The large, well defined shoulders that she had been seeing more of on Skype since it was spring and a hot one and he was going shirtless in their apartment a lot. It was the only thing she could see to recommend New York. That and the bagels.

She moved through the crowd a little and wondered how long they would take. She had once waited for a target for 19 hours without moving and now she was shifting her weight foot to foot after 10 minutes. And then she saw Steve, easy to see in the crowd. Peggy waved and stepped forward slowly and then found herself running to him.

Steve swept her up easily. Peggy tucked her legs in a little, so that she didn't take anyone out when he spun her around. Like they were in some movie. It wasn't making her heart flutter at all. He put her down and kissed her. "Been waiting to do that Peggy," he said.

"Come on, people can see you being idiots," Bucky groaned.

Peggy turned to Bucky. "You don't have an arm," she said stunned.

"Security got assholey and we put it in its case and checked it," Bucky said. He hunched in on himself a little. "No big."

"An absolute big. What was the name of the TSA asshole? I am making their life hell," she said.

"I dunno."

Steve looked at her and mouthed  _I have the name_. 

She nodded to him a little. "Well, soon you'll be right as rain. I decorated a room for you. But you can change it all," she said quickly. "I just didn't want you coming to a generic guest room."

"Carter, you made up a room for me?" Bucky stared at her in surprise.

"I am hoping that this goes well and you come to visit again," she said. "Oh," she squeaked when Bucky gave her a one armed hug. "You are hugging me."

"Sort of a crap hug, with only the one arm."

"it is the best hug ever," Peggy promised him.

***********************************************

Bucky had crashed after the flight and Peggy and Steve just sat awkwardly together in the kitchen.

Peggy made tea and they both fiddled with their cups.

"You know, he's a really sound sleeper," Steve said casually.

"I gave him the master bedroom, because the floor squeaks. Our room has no squeaks," she added equally casually.

"Our room?" Steve grinned.

"Our room," she said firmly. She held out a hand and took him to it.

***********************************************

"Where's Dad?" Bucky asked, yawning one morning two weeks later.

"Out for a run," she answered reading on her tablet. "Bucky, I have to go to the Ukraine for 5 days. I can delegate, but it is better that I go. Is that okay?"

"Why does my opinion matter?" Bucky asked.

"Because this is your trip here, and I don't want to ruin it," Peggy said.

Bucky looked at her. "This isn't a trip."

"I'm sorry?" Peggy frowned in confusion.

"Carter, this isn't just a vacation. This is your family living with you for 9 weeks." Bucky ate some toast. "So you have to go on a business trip, no biggie, right? That's what people have to do. Just don't get shot or nothing."

"I'll do my best," she promised.

She came home with a stab wound and broken arm but no bullets. And maybe it was really nice to be fussed over by her boys instead of a nurse.

************************************************

It was 2am and Steve had Peggy in his arms. "Hey, Peggy?"

"Go to sleep," she slurred waking up.

"Are you my girl?"

"If I say yes, can we go back to bed?"

"Only if you mean it," Steve whispered.

"Til the end of the line," she said.

"Want to get married?"

"Not especially," she admitted. She waited because she figured this would be a problem for Steve.

"Okay," was all he said. "I'm good with that."

"You and Bucky are on my insurance policies," she added.

Steve kissed her hair. "Good enough for me."

*************************************************

"Victoria, would it be possible for me to do my job from the New York office for say December and January?" Peggy asked in their weekly meeting.

"I think we can make arrangements, yes," Victoria said.

"Good."

*************************************************

She had convinced them to fly home on Shield plane. It had taken a great deal of bribery to get Steve to relent. Bucky when he saw the inside declared he wanted to live forever in it.

She fussed about, tried to delay their leaving.

Steve kissed her. "We'll Skype in two days and you arrive in time for Thanksgiving right?"

"Right," she agreed. When they had talked about it they had moved her plans forward a little so that she could have the two holidays with her boys and go back to London mid-January. And then they had plans to take a family trip to a resort for March break, before Steve and Bucky coming to spend their summer in London.

"Okay you two, kiss and let's go," Bucky said.

Steve kissed Peggy, deeply, pouring all his feelings into it, losing breath until Bucky did a fake cough.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll miss you and crap. See you online in the game, Carter," Bucky said and gave her a hug.

"Get better with that new gun will you?"

"Screw that I figured out how to throw these awesome grenades. Close is good enough with those," he grinned.

Peggy quickly wiped away a tear. "Okay one last photo you two," she said and held up her phone. Steve and Bucky posed for her, used to the million pictures she had taken of them.

**************************************************

Peggy stepped off the plane and saw Steve and Bucky waiting on the tarmac.

She ran to them, heart full and was shocked when it was Bucky who grabbed her and hugged her tight. "Mom! You're home," he said happily.

Steve smiled and added himself to the hug. "Welcome home, Peggy."

"I love you both so much," she said. She felt Bucky poke her a little. "And yes I have Jaffa cakes, and all the other junk food you fell in love with. A whole carry on of it."

"Best mom ever," Bucky grinned.

"I'm getting there," she said and smiled at her boys.


End file.
